TOYL

think I’ve spoken to most of the people here.’ Emma looked around at the crowds. ‘Guy introduced me to loads of people.’
    ‘Always the perfect host.’ Stuart took a nervous sip from his drink.
    Just then the pianist started up.
    ‘No expense spared for this party,’ Stuart commented. ‘That guy has played piano for the Queen and loads of movie stars. And you’re one of the stars now. What does it feel like?’
    ‘Weird,’ Emma admitted. ‘I’m not sure I like it either. I got cornered by a group of photographers before.’
    ‘I know, I was watching from the boat. Thank goodness security were there.’
    ‘Yes,’ Emma said, thinking back to what the reporter had asked her.
    ‘You want to go outside?’ Stuart ventured. ‘Should be quite a view out there – we’ll be sailing past the London Eye in a few minutes.’
    ‘Okay. It’s getting a bit stuffy in here anyway.’
    ‘Told you it would be great view,’ said Stuart, as they looked out across the city from the side of the boat. They were just approaching the London Eye, right on cue. Emma looked up towards the top of the wheel, seeing child occupants of the pods waving at the boat. She waved back, and so did Stuart.
    ‘You remember the day we went on that thing?’ he asked.
    ‘How could I forget? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone as scared in my life. I thought you were going to jump out.’
    ‘I told you I didn’t like heights.’
    ‘I still don’t know why you agreed to it.’
    ‘Because you wouldn’t have gone on it otherwise, and I knew you wanted to try it out.’
    Emma looked across at him, and he smiled. She managed not to smile back.
    ‘This is really weird,’ she said, turning back to look out across at the far bank of the Thames. ‘You and me, talking about old times.’
    ‘I know,’ Stuart admitted. ‘I never thought we’d talk again.’
    They let that statement hang in the air for a few seconds.
    ‘You really hurt me,’ Emma said, not looking at him.
    ‘I can imagine.’
    ‘No,’ she said, this time turning to look at Stuart. ‘You really hurt me. In those weeks and months after you left, I thought I was going to have a breakdown. I cried non-stop for days. It was really scary; I was losing control.’
    ‘I’m so sorry, Em.’
    ‘I don’t know why I’m even giving you the satisfaction of letting you know this.’
    ‘I don’t take any satisfaction from it at all,’ he responded. ‘I know it was my choice to walk out, and I’ve only got myself to blame, but I suffered too. You don’t know how much I suffered because of my mistake.’
    ‘It did make me stronger,’ she said. ‘I think that’s why I haven’t lost it now that Dan has left. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, though. I should be really upset. I was supposed to be getting married this week.’
    ‘You’re just protecting yourself. And you’re getting on with your life.’
    ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ Emma sighed. ‘I’m wondering whether all this movie business is just a distraction – my way of blocking out everything that’s happened.’
    ‘Is that such a bad thing? Maybe it will help.’
    ‘Maybe.’
    ‘Look, Em, I’m sorry for just coming out with what I said the other day. I imagine it was the last thing you needed. I didn’t plan to say it.’
    ‘It’s not the right time.’
    ‘I understand.’
    ‘Having a good time?’ said Guy, appearing at Emma’s shoulder.
    ‘Great,’ Stuart said.
    ‘Emma?’ Guy asked.
    ‘It’s really nice.’
    ‘Only nice?’ He grimaced. ‘I can see I’m going to have to try harder with you. Only the very best for Emma Holden.’
    Emma and Stuart laughed along with Guy, although Emma wondered whether he was joking or not.

    ***

    ‘How are you getting home?’ Stuart said, as they stood at the end of the gangway.
    The boat had just moored and most people were in the process of disembarking. Emma was glad to have returned to dry land, and she was even gladder to see that there were no press people waiting for her.
    ‘I’ll catch the tube,’ she said, gesturing towards the direction of the station.
    ‘I’ll walk you,’ he offered.
    ‘No, it’s okay.’
    ‘No, really.’
    ‘I’ll be fine, honestly. It was good to chat.’
    ‘Maybe we could keep in touch? Here’s my number if you want it.’ He handed her a card. ‘If you don’t call, I’ll understand.’
    ‘Goodbye, Stuart,’ Emma said, taking the card.
    She turned and walked away, not quite knowing why