TOYL

I’ll see you around.’ He took a couple of slow steps backward. ‘Best of luck with the movie – you are going to take the part, aren’t you?’
    ‘Yes,’ she said.
    He beamed. ‘That’s great. I’m glad I recommended you.’
    ‘I just want to know one thing. Why the secrecy? Why ask Guy to keep your name secret from me?’
    ‘Because I didn’t want to intrude,’ he said. ‘I didn’t want this.’
    ‘This?’
    ‘Me and you, like this. I didn’t want it.’
    Emma looked away.
    ‘I don’t mean that I didn’t want to see you,’ he said quickly. ‘Just the opposite really.’
    ‘I don’t get it.’
    ‘What I’m saying is… oh, God, I promised this wasn’t going to happen,’ he said, seemingly to himself. ‘What I’m trying to say is that I really regret walking out on you the way I did. It wasn’t a good time, and my head was all over the place. You wouldn’t believe the state I was in.’
    ‘You’re saying you regret walking out without saying anything?’
    ‘No, not just that,’ he replied. ‘I regret walking out – full stop. I regret leaving you, throwing everything we had down the drain.’
    ‘It’s too late, Stuart.’
    ‘I know. And that’s why I didn’t want to talk to you again like this. I still love you, Em. But I know I can’t have you back.’

34

    Emma emerged into the living room wearing the black dress she had bought that day on Oxford Street. ‘How do I look?’
    ‘Stunning,’ Lizzy said, looking her up and down. ‘You’re gonna wow those movie people,’ she added. ‘They won’t know what’s hit them.’
    ‘Hope so.’ Emma flattened an imaginary crease in the material. ‘But I’m so nervous. They’re all going to be there – the director, producer, the whole cast. What if they meet me and wonder why on earth I got chosen for the part?’
    ‘Don’t be daft. Guy Roberts wanted you, so he picked you. End of.’
    ‘I guess. It’s just that, you know, with Guy knowing Stuart, it just makes you wonder.’
    ‘What are you going to do about Stuart?’
    ‘I’m trying to forget about him. I’ve decided that I don’t want to see him again.’
    ‘I think that’s for the best. I know it’s up to you, but it doesn’t sound like what you need right now.’
    ‘I just wish he hadn’t got involved in this though. I feel like I owe him.’
    ‘Don’t worry about who it was that recommended you for the part,’ Lizzy said. ‘That isn’t important. Okay, it gave you the foot in the door, but if you didn’t have what it takes, you’d never have got this chance. Remember – contacts might give you the opportunity, but talent lets you take advantage of it.’
    ‘Wow, Lizzy, I’m impressed. ’ Emma smiled. ‘Have you been reading one of those motivational self-help books?’
    Lizzy stuck out her tongue and went back to reading her stage notes.
    ‘No, seriously,’ Emma said. ‘Thanks.’
    Lizzy looked up and smiled. ‘You’re welcome. Hey, this is your big night, Em. It’s finally happening.’
    ‘I know,’ laughed Emma, not quite able to believe it.
    ‘It’s so good to see you happy.’
    ‘I do feel better than in a long while. I’m not saying that I feel particularly good, but at least something nice is happening amongst all the bad things.’
    ‘That’s great. Because I want you to be in your best frame of mind for my debut performance on Friday.’ Lizzy held up the stage notes. ‘I want detailed feedback from you.’
    ‘Of course,’ Emma said.
    ‘Only positive feedback, obviously,’ Lizzy joked.
    ‘Naturally. Because I’m sure it’ll be perfect anyway.’
    ‘Miracles do happen, I suppose.’
    ‘I just wish a miracle would happen to Richard.’ Suddenly Emma felt guilty that they were laughing and joking while Richard was lying unconscious in a hospital bed, fighting for his life.
    ‘Yes, so do I,’ Lizzy said solemnly. ‘You think he’ll ever wake up?’
    ‘I hope so,’ Emma said. ‘But I don’t know.’

    ***

    Emma couldn’t believe it when she saw the boat. She’d expected something like a canal barge, but it resembled a mini ocean cruise liner, all lit up like a floating Christmas tree. The other shock was the photographers on the quayside. There were only six of them, but that was six more than she’d expected. As she got closer, they turned around and pointed the cameras in her direction, flashing away, too close to her. Emma wondered whether they even knew who she was.
    ‘Emma, is it true about