Under the Dusty Sky (Holloway Farms)

water.
    “ So,” my dad says breaking the silence. “What do you want to do today, birthday girl?”
    I shrug. I’m still groggy, but I feel heavier. I didn’t want to get out of bed. Lifting my legs, my head, my heart, seems impossible.
    “ I think I’m just going to go for a ride on Belle. Maybe barbecue later before Mel’s party?”
    Dad’s eyes widen, and the twins look up at me. Archer looks slightly confused, his finger pressed onto the page of whatever book he’s reading. Asher looks concerned, and it makes me feel heavier.
    “ You don’t want to do anything? Go to town to see Lacy? Go to the diner? You know Maggie always gives you those puffy cake things you like for free?” Dad’s voice is higher than usual.
    I shake my head. “Dad, I’m not thirteen anymore. I just want to chill.”
    I kiss him quickly and leave so he doesn’t ask questions. My chest feels tight, and the sound of scraping chair legs doesn’t make it any better. Footsteps catch up with me faster than I can run away from them. My wrist is grabbed in mid-step, and I spin to look down at my brother, three stairs below me.
    “ You okay, Gracie?” Asher asks, trying to keep the concern out of his voice, as if he were asking if I had the flu and not if my heart is being crushed from my body while the most confusing and convoluted emotions wage a war inside me.
    “ Fine, Ash. Just text me when Hunter gets here.” I shrug my arm out of his grip and turn to run up the stairs. He clears his throat.
    “ Uh? Hunt didn’t call you?” Asher’s confusion makes ice spiral out from my chest and freezes my body in place.
    “ No,” I say without turning because I know how this is going to go, and I can’t do it right now. I just can’t.
    “ That dick,” Asher mutters and clears his throat again. I know he’s running his hand through his hair, tugging it until it stands straight up. “Hunt’s not coming, Gracie. He got a job in Lincoln. He had to start today.”
    My first instinct is to scream. Not words. Just scream. I am so filled with so many different things I can’t sort them out. I’ll be mad at him later.
    Dermott. Lacy. Bentley. Hunter. I can’t handle thinking about all of them at once. I slowly begin to walk up the stairs.
    “ Okay, then.” I’m proud of how confident I sound because I don’t think I know the definition of that word right now. I push into a run and don’t look back at Asher.
    ***
    Grabbing my mother’s journal from my closet, I run back down the steps and almost make it out the front door.
    “ Graceland!” Dad hollers, and I stop, turning slowly to face him, hiding the book behind my back.
    “ Yes, Daddy?” I try to smile but right now I don’t ever feel like smiling again.
    “ You can go ride Belle if you want but no quad. That’s twice now you just think you can take them whenever you want. You’re, uh, grounded from using them?”
    I laugh shakily and look over to the key rack. Both sets are gone. He’s never grounded me from anything, which is probably why it sounds more like a question than a statement.
    “ Okay, Daddy.” I slide my boots onto my feet and leave. I’m not going to see Belle, so it doesn’t matter anyway.
    I walk to the old rusted tractors sitting behind the house and then run to my barn. I just need to sit and think. I need to figure out what to do with no distraction.
    As I round the corner of the barn, I see Sasha. It takes me a second to register who she is. Why she’s here. She looks over at me, her blonde curls bouncing around her shoulders and her smile almost perfectly symmetrical. Teeth gleaming. She looks completely out of place next to the barn.
    I’d say that all the guys around here would fall insta-in-love with her, but like me, I don’t think anyone from around here would know what to do with her. Unless she was a picture on the calendar that Jake keeps above the parts counter at the hardware store.
    “ Gracie, right?” Sasha pushes off the barn and makes her way to me. She has to be in her earlier twenties, maybe mid. I’m not sure anything about her features is a natural indication.
    “ Yeah,” I answer.
    “ I was wondering if I could talk to you for a second. It’s about my brother.”
    Ben’s words come flooding back to me about how she thinks all girls are after his money, after a chance at his music studio. I clutch Mom’s journal tighter to keep my hands from shaking, but it doesn’t work because my whole body is shaking. I