Unicorns? Get Real!

and care for it. There was simply not enough unicorn to go around, as Frankie put it. So it would be Gundersnap and her turretmates who would learn how to ride the lovely creature and care for it. And if more were captured, eventually there would be a unicorn riding show as part of Color Wars, in which both teams would compete.
    As soon as they returned from the Plains of Wesselwick, the princesses of the South Turret began stable duty, the first step in learning about the unicorn and its needs. So although the princesses of the South Turret for the most part did not know the first thing about getting themselves dressed, they would soon be learning how to curry a unicorn, fit a bridle to its head, and strap a velveteen saddle on its back. And although they could no more boil an egg than fly, they were learning how to make clover mash feed for the unicorn.
    Lady Merry dozed now in the main salon of the princesses’ apartments. She had perhaps fallen asleep from boredom, for all that Princess Alicia had talked about since their return was the handsome Prince Rupert, who had broken his arm.
    “Do you think we should send him a get-well card?” Alicia now asked.
    “Vot do you mean vee?” replied Gundersnap, barely concealing the impatience in her voice.
    “Who are you talking about?” Kristen asked. Her nose was buried in the Royal Outdoor Life Catalogue.
    “Who else?” Gundersnap sighed.
    “Oh, old poopy Ruppie?” Kristen asked. Gundersnap giggled, but Alicia scowled.
    “There is nothing poopy about him. He’s captain of the jousting team. I just hope his arm heals in time for our dance with Camp Burning Shield, if that day ever comes,” Alicia said huffily.
    “I wonder if he jousts with one of these nifty Richard the Lionhearted double-planked shields?” Kristen asked.
    “Honestly!” Gundersnap gasped in despair. “And by the way, Alicia, Rupert comes from a very insignificant kingdom. My mother invaded it several years ago, and his father is just a puppet king. Empress Mummy pulls his strings. So get over Rupert.”
    At just that moment, Gilly sailed into the princesses’ salon. She was grinning widely and held a large scroll in her hand. “Good news, Princesses! It’s come at last.”
    “What?” they all cried at once.
    “The invitation!” Gilly unfurled the scroll and began to read: “‘The Duke of Palacyndra, Camp Master of Burning Shield, does hereby invite the princesses of Camp Princess to our Full Moon Summer Festival and Ball.’”
    There was a deafening squeal from Alicia, who shot up into the air, flipping her tiara right off her head. Kristen, Gundersnap, and Myrella looked at one another.
    “Mishtik grashschnik vinghotten,” muttered Gundersnap, which roughly translated from Slobo meant, “There’ll be no living with her now!”

Chapter 11
    THE PRINCESSES PREPARE

    “Archery contest? There’s archery and not just dancing?” Gundersnap asked.
    “What about jousting? There’s sure to be jousting if there’s archery!” Kristen exclaimed.
    Lady Merry sighed. “Now, Princess Kristen—archery is one thing, but princesses jousting?” Kristen started to protest. Lady Merry raised a puffy little hand. “Please, dear, we all know that in the Realm of Rolm, things are done differently, and some girls joust.”
    “Lady Merry, I don’t see why not—”
    “There will be no jousting for you, my dear. Not another word.” Kristen drooped her shoulders dramatically and moaned. “I am sure there are other sports you excel in.”
    “Kissing,” Alicia blurted out, and all four princesses were seized by convulsions of giggles.
    “Gilly!” Lady Merry screamed. “My smelling salts!”
    Gortle shook a finger at the girls. “Don’t you princesses carry on like that. Giving Lady Merry the fits. Not good. Princess Alicia, you think entirely too much about boys. I know for a fact that you are very skillful with falconry. It says there on that invitation that there will be falconry. And you brought your best falcon.”
    “Gryffie, yes sir, I did. He’s quite good.”
    “And you, Gundersnap, I know how good you are with the bow. You’ll give them a run for their money in the archery tournament. You all need to get out there and practice. Kristen, no one can sail a boat like you. There’ll be a regatta. It’s not just all fancy dancing and flirting, you know.”
    “It’s not?” Alicia sighed and looked crestfallen.
    The days before the journey around the lake to Camp