Velocity

Norlee said.
    “Of course I pray for Barbara every day.”
    “Of course.”
    “But I’ve come to see that prayer is more meaningful when it involves some sacrifice.”
    “Sacrifice,” she said thoughtfully.
    He smiled. “I don’t mean to slaughter a lamb.”
    “Ah. That will please the janitorial staff.”
    “But a prayer before bed, however sincere, is no inconvenience.”
    “I see your point.”
    “Surely prayer will be more meaningful and effective if it comes at some personal cost—like at least the loss of a night’s sleep.”
    “I’ve never thought of it that way,” she said.
    “From time to time,” Billy said, “I’d like to sit with her all night in prayer. If it doesn’t help her, it’ll at least help me.”
    Listening to himself, he thought that he sounded as phony as a TV evangelist proclaiming the virtue of abstinence upon being caught naked with a hooker in the back of his limo.
    Evidently, Gretchen Norlee heard him differently from how he heard himself. Behind her steel-rimmed spectacles, her eyes were moist with sympathy.
    His newfound slickness dismayed Billy, and worried him. When a liar became too skilled at deception, he could lose the ability to discern truth, and could himself be more easily deceived.
    He expected there might be a price for playing a nice woman like Gretchen Norlee for a fool, as there was a price for everything.
     
     
     

Chapter 41
     
    As Billy followed the main hall toward Barbara’s room in the west wing, Dr. Jordan Ferrier, her physician, exited the room of another patient. They almost collided.
    “Billy!”
    “Hello, Dr. Ferrier.”
    “Billy, Billy, Billy.”
    “I sense a lecture coming on.”
    “You’ve been avoiding me.”
    “I’ve tried my best,” Billy admitted.
    Dr. Ferrier looked younger than forty-two. He was sandy-haired, green-eyed, perpetually cheerful, and a dedicated salesman for death.
    “We’re weeks overdue for our semiannual review.”
    “The semiannual review is your idea. I’m very happy with a once-every-decade review.”
    “Let’s go see Barbara.”
    “No,” Billy said. “I won’t talk about this in front of her.”
    “All right.” Taking Billy by the arm, Dr. Ferrier steered him to the lounge where the staff took their breaks.
    They were alone in the room. Vending machines for snacks and soft drinks hummed, ready to dispense high-calorie, high-fat, high-caffeine treats to medical workers who knew the consequences of their cravings but had the good sense to cut themselves some slack.
    Ferrier drew a white plastic chair away from an orange Formica table. When Billy didn’t follow suit, the doctor sighed, pushed the chair under the table, and remained on his feet.
    “Three weeks ago I completed an evaluation of Barbara.”
    “I complete one every day.”
    “I’m not your enemy, Billy.”
    “It’s hard to tell around this time of the year.”
    Ferrier was a hard-working physician, intelligent, talented, and well-meaning. Unfortunately, the university that turned him out had infected him with what they called “utilitarian ethics.”
    “She’s gotten no better,” said Dr. Ferrier.
    “She’s gotten no worse, either.”
    “Any chance of her regaining high cognitive function—”
    “Sometimes she talks,” Billy interrupted. “You know she does.”
    “Does she ever make sense? Is she coherent?”
    “Once in a while,” Billy said.
    “Give me an example.”
    “I can’t, offhand. I’d have to check my notebooks.”
    Ferrier had soulful eyes. He knew how to use them. “She was a wonderful woman, Billy. No one but you had more respect for her than I did. But now she has no meaningful quality of life.”
    “To me, it’s very meaningful.”
    “You’re not the one suffering. She is.”
    “She doesn’t seem to be suffering,” Billy said.
    “We can’t really know for sure, can we?”
    “Exactly.”
    Barbara had liked Ferrier. That was one reason Billy did not replace him.
    On some deep level she might perceive what was happening around her. In that event, she might feel safer knowing she was being cared for by Ferrier instead of by a strange doctor whom she’d never met.
    Sometimes this irony was a grinding wheel that sharpened Billy’s sense of injustice to a razor’s edge.
    Had she known about Ferrier’s bioethics infection, had she known that he believed he possessed the wisdom and the right to determine whether a Down’s Syndrome baby or a handicapped child, or a comatose woman,