Violet Eden Chapters 04 - Endless

for any longer than necessary,’ Phoenix confirmed.
    Lincoln had known what would happen since he came back that night with the bruise on his face. He’d already made his choices before we slept together. He had known that Phoenix would kill and revive me, that he would give me his essence to release me, that his own soul would shatter, that … That I would be left alive … without him.
    More tears – sorry, sorry tears – slipped down my face.
    ‘There was no other way. Trust me, Violet, we looked at it from every angle. There was no way to stop Lilith killing all those kids.’
    My voice trembled. ‘You could’ve let me die like we planned!’ My self-control broke and I struck out at him again, this time with swipes and desperate slapping. ‘You should’ve let me die! I don’t want to live without him! I can’t! I can’t … I can’t breathe, I can’t … I … You should’ve let me die!’
    ‘I know,’ he winced. ‘But I couldn’t.’
    ‘I was there! They forced me back. I was so close I could almost reach out and touch the reflections. They wanted me to go with them, but the angels stopped me. I should’ve gone!’
    ‘What are you talking about?’ Phoenix asked, suddenly grabbing my shoulders. ‘What do you mean reflections ?’
    ‘The shimmerings. I see them when the angels come to me. They’re always in the background calling to me.’
    Phoenix slumpeddown, defeated. ‘Oh, damn them all. They’re pulling way too many strings.’
    I didn’t know what he meant. Didn’t care.
    ‘I’ll never be able to tell you how sorry I am,’ he said. ‘I know I brought Lilith here. I know how awful it is to lose the very thing you have started to live for. I’ll hate myself for eternity for doing this to you. But there is a way to stop Lilith. Together. We can still get the rest of those kids out. We can get the Scripture back, your mum. And … we can get Lincoln, too, get … his body out so we can …’ He looked away.
    I punched him, then gripped his shirt, shaking him. ‘So we can kill him? That’s what you want to say, isn’t it? That’s what the two of you agreed, didn’t you? That you’d kill him!’
    Phoenix took my hits, still doing nothing to stop me.
    ‘Yes,’ he confessed. ‘He didn’t want to be … He wanted you to be free.’
    I slumped away from him, exhausted, moving into the corner of the armoury.
    ‘I lost the only thing I would fight for.’ I hauled myself to my feet, my knees knocking together, colt-like. My body had been mostly healed from the wounds but I was broken and weak in every way that mattered. Phoenix moved towards me, the injuries I’d inflicted on him already healed.
    ‘No!’ I put out a hand. ‘Don’t come near me.’ I made it to the door and unlocked it before pulling it open. Steph, Spence, Salvatore, Dapper and Onyx all stood from where they’d been sitting on the stairs. Steph was crying.
    They had heard.
    Salvatore barrelled into the room and I heard him hit Phoenix. Steph made a move towards me but I put up my hand to stop her,grabbed onto the railing and took a step. Onyx cast his eyes down when I passed. Dapper watched me with undiluted pity.
    ‘Let us help you,’ Dapper said softly.
    I shook my head, climbed the first flight of steps and moved through the kitchen to the next. With every step I took, I remembered being in Lincoln’s arms the night before.
    I dragged myself into the bedroom and stared at the bed; sheets still rumpled. I could smell him. I bit down on my fist as I screamed again and crumpled to the floor, wrapping my cold arms around my legs and tucking myself into a ball.
    I knew beyond all doubt that nothing in my life would feel good, ever again. And all that I had left to hold onto – those few brief hours when we had been free to love one another – had been robbed from me and stripped back to nothing but lies and devilish scheming.
    I rocked myself, feeling a chill settle into my bones. Loneliness was all that awaited me now.
    There is a reason a soul is supposed to shatter when the connection is broken between soulmates. I knew that now. It was simply intolerable; a pain that outstripped words and surpassed beginning and end. There would be no relief.
    Shouting downstairs ensued as Phoenix defended his actions to Steph and Dapper. In time quiet returned, as they no doubt reached the same hopeless conclusion that nothing could change what had been done.
    More time elapsed. Eventually, I crawled into