Waiting for Wednesday

absence
Judith took on his anger, his corrosive bitterness.
    ‘Can I have some wine?’
    ‘How old are you?’
    ‘Fifteen. You’re not going to
tell me that I shouldn’t drink wine because I’m only fifteen?’ She
gave an ugly snort. Her blue eyes glittered and her voice scratched.
    ‘This is a school night and I hardly
know you. I’ll give you some water.’
    Judith shrugged. ‘Whatever. I
don’t really feel like it actually.’
    ‘Dora, have some rice,’ said
Sasha. She had a cooing note to her voice. She’s broody, thought Frieda.
She’s fallen in love and she wants babies.
    Dora put a teaspoon of rice onto her plate
and pushed listlessly at it. Sasha put her hand over the young girl’s, at which
she put her head on the table and started crying, her thin shoulders shaking, her whole
starved body shuddering.
    ‘Oh dear,’ said Sasha.
‘Oh, you poor thing.’ She kneltbeside the girl and
cradled her. After a few moments, Dora turned urgently towards her, pressing her wet
face into Sasha’s shoulder, holding on to her like a drowning person.
    Judith stared at them, her expression
blank.
    ‘Can I speak to you?’ she hissed
to Frieda, above the hiccuping sobs.
    ‘Of course.’
    ‘Out there.’ Judith jerked her
head towards the yard.
    Frieda rose and opened the back door. The
air was still quite gentle after the warmth of the day and she could smell the herbs she
had planted in their tubs. ‘What is it?’ she asked.
    Judith looked at her, then away. She seemed
both older than her years, and younger: an adult and a child at once. Frieda waited. Her
curry would be a congealing oily mass.
    ‘I’m not feeling well,’
said Judith.
    The air seemed to cool around them. Frieda
knew what she was going to say. This was the kind of thing she should be telling her
mother.
    ‘In what way?’ she asked.
    ‘I’m feeling a bit
sick.’
    ‘In the morning?’
    ‘Mostly.’
    ‘Are you pregnant, Judith?’
    ‘I don’t know. Maybe.’ Her
voice was a sullen mumble.
    ‘Have you done a test?’
    ‘No.’
    ‘You ought to do one as soon as
possible. They’re very reliable.’ She tried to make out the expression on
the girl’s face. ‘You can buy them across the counter at a
chemist’s,’ she added.
    ‘I know that.’
    ‘But you’re scared because then
you’d know for certain.’
    ‘I guess.’
    ‘If you were pregnant, do you know how
far gone you are?’
    Judith shrugged. ‘I’m just a few
days late.’
    ‘Is it just from one sexual
encounter?’
    ‘No.’
    ‘You have a boyfriend?’
    ‘If that’s the right
word.’
    ‘Have you told him?’
    ‘No.’
    ‘Nor your father?’
    She gave her laughing snort – derisive and
unhappy. ‘No!’
    ‘Listen. You must find out if
you’re pregnant first of all, and if you are, you have to decide what you want to
do. There are people you can speak to. You won’t have to deal with it alone. Are
there other adults you could speak to? A family member, a teacher?’
    ‘No.’
    Frieda half closed her eyes. She let the
weight settle on her. ‘OK. You can do the test here, if you want, and then
we’ll talk about it.’
    ‘Really?’
    ‘Really.’
    ‘And maybe you should think about
talking to your father.’
    ‘You don’t
understand.’
    ‘He might not react the way you
think.’
    ‘I’m his little girl. He
doesn’t want me to wear makeup! I know how he’ll react. Mum dying, police
everywhere, and now this. It’ll
kill
him. As for Zach –’ She
stopped and grimaced. Her small face worked with her emotions.
    ‘Is Zach your boyfriend?’
    ‘He’ll be furious with
me.’
    ‘Why? It takes two, you know, and
you’re the one who has to deal with the consequences.’
    ‘I’m supposed to be on the Pill. I
am
on the Pill. I just forgot for a bit.’
    ‘Is Zach at your school?’
    She pulled a face.
    ‘What does that mean?’
    ‘It means no.’
    Frieda stared at her and Judith stared
back.
    ‘How old is Zach?’
    ‘What’s that got to do with
anything?’
    ‘Judith?’
    ‘Twenty-eight.’
    ‘I see. And you’re fifteen.
That’s a big age gap.’
    ‘Thanks. I can do the
maths.’
    ‘You’re underage.’
    ‘That’s just a stupid rule old
people make up to stop young people doing what they did when they were young themselves.
I’m not a child.’
    ‘Tell me something, Judith. Did your
mother know about Zach?’
    ‘I never told her. I knew what
she’d say.’
    ‘So she had no idea?’
    ‘Why would she?’ Judith