War and Peas

the bill and stuffed the bits into the trash bag, fearing that even as she was doing so, some official of the telephone company was watching through binoculars and saying into a walkie-talkie, “Yup, she had it all along, just like we thought.”
    There were treasures, too. Shelley had convinced her a couple of weeks earlier that she needed a bird feeder and there it was, still in its box, waiting to be filled with the special seed mix Shelley had recommended. Unfortunately, there was a hole in the bag of seeds that looked suspiciously chewed. Did she have a critter living in the car? She opened all the doors, giving any resident wildlife the opportunity to escape, and walked around the outside of the house looking for the best place for the bird feeder. She decided on a spot in front of the window the kitchen table sat next to and felt terribly smug that she was able to find a screwdriver and get the bracket in place without any trouble.
    She was just filling the feeder when Shelley pulled into her driveway, which adjoined Jane’s. “It looks like your car exploded—all the doors standing open that way,“ Shelley said. “And there are the wildcats picking over the remains.”
    Max was sniffing at the glove box and Meow was sitting on the top of a headrest, a golden ball of fur surveying a new kingdom. “Wonder what they’d think of Heidi.“
    “Who’s that?“ Shelley asked.
    “Mr. Snellen’s stuffed cat,“ Jane said. “I wonder if they’d let me borrow it for a night, just to see if Max and Meow recognize that it was once a cat.“
    “You’ve grown attached to that dead cat, haven’t you?“ Shelley said. “There’s no accounting for taste or lack of it.“
    “But it has such a nice story. It’s sort of like that picture Sharlene has of Mr. Snellen himself. Except that Heidi’s three-dimensional.“
    “And hairy,“ Shelley said. “And probably infested with God knows what.“
    “Then Max and Meow would be sure to like it. They adore infestations.“
    “Jane, what did you think about that note Sharlene found?“ Shelley said, putting down her purse and helping Jane get the spilled birdseed into the feeder.
    Jane went to retrieve a plastic bucket from the garage to put the birdseed bag into and said, over her shoulder, “I’ve been trying not to think of it, to tell the truth.“
    “Does that have a lid?“ Shelley asked. “If not, you’re going to have a garage full of happy, overweight rodents. Why are you not thinking about the note?“
    “Because it confuses me,“ Jane said, rummaging around for the lid, which she was sure existed somewhere. “Ah! Here it is. I’m not so sure that note was really a threat—just a sort of warning. But there’s a big difference.“
    “Well, there can be...“ Shelley said hesitantly.
    “Shelley, suppose it was about something fairly innocent. What if, for example, Regina told somebody she was going on a diet and the other person left her that note?“
    “Jane, I only saw it for a minute. Exactly what did it say?“
    “I’m not sure I remember exactly. Something like, ‘Don’t do it or I’ll try to stop you.’ See what I mean? It could just be Babs or somebody making a little joke meaning she’d start leaving candy bars on Regina’s desk. It wasn’t signed, so presumably Regina knew who had sent it and what it meant. But Lisa didn’t take it that way—”
    Jane repeated the conversation she and Mel had had with Lisa.
    “So Lisa had seen it and was really upset by it?“ Shelley said.
    “She was upset today and claimed she took it seriously when Regina showed it to her. But that might only be in light of what happened later. After all, Lisa forgot about it until I mentioned that Sharlene had found it. Then she got really bent out of shape, blaming herself for not making Regina take it more seriously.“
    “But Regina didn’t acknowledge knowing who it was from or what it was about?“
    “Lisa says not. And Mel asked if she, Lisa, had any thoughts about who typed it, and she said she did, but didn’t want to say.“
    “This is strange,“ Shelley said, snapping the lid onto the birdseed bucket and hauling it to Jane’s garage. “Where are you hanging the bird feeder?“
    “By the kitchen-table window.”
    Shelley picked up the feeder and went around the house. “Omigawd! Did you put up that bracket yourself?”
    Jane preened. “I’m not barefoot and pregnant anymore, Shelley. I’m a modern, liberated woman who can put