War and Peas

arrived and had been duly tasted and shared. Finally, Babs said, “I don’t normally have any particular urge to talk about myself or rehash my own history, but in light of what Jumper told me, I thought I should explain—“
    “You really shouldn’t feel you have to tell us anything if it’s too painful to talk about,“ Jane said.
    Babs smiled. “I’ve found there are very few things too painful to discuss. To do, perhaps, but not to discuss. And I wouldn’t be speaking of it at all except that I feel you are both honorable, trustworthy women. I’m seldom wrong about these things. And, Jane, in case you’re wondering if I’m about to confess something that will put you in an awkward position with your friend Detective VanDyne, let me assure you that I’d be entirely content to tell him as well, should he wish to hear it firsthand.“
    “Thank you,“ Jane said weakly.
    Babs set her fork on her plate, placed her elbows on the table, and crossed her hands elegantly. “I grew up in privileged circumstances and was a ‘good girl.’ My parents were fine, if rather snobbish, shallow people, and I was their only daughter. I adored them and did all I could to please them. Bobby McDonald was the only son of their closest friends, and it was assumed we would marry eventually. I was content with the idea. He was bright, charming, good-looking. I convinced myself I was in love with him, al- though I had no idea what love meant. It was merely girlish romanticism.
    “When the war started, I was only nineteen. Too young to marry under normal circumstances, but the war wasn’t normal. And while nobody ever admitted it openly, Bobby’s parents pushed for the marriage to take place before he left. I think their pride in their name and heritage was so great that they feared it would die with him, should he not survive. Perhaps they were in the grip of parental premonition and hoped that I would conceive a grandson.
    “A big society wedding was planned, with a leisurely honeymoon in California, but Bobby’s orders were changed and we had only two days to stage the thing. I wanted the big wedding, the bridesmaids, the big white dress and everything. It was the dream of every girl of my class in those days, but I was pressured to go along with the slapdash alternative. I was such a ‘good girl,’ and there was an element of romance at that time in hasty marriages.”
    She stopped speaking as the waiter approached and poured everyone fresh coffee. When he’d gone, she continued. “I discovered on my wedding night that there was a truly savage side to this handsome, charming boy I had married. I don’t mean fumbling, insensitive over eagerness. I mean true viciousness. I won’t bore you with the details, but if there is such a thing as a pornographic horror novel, I lived it. For two days, that seemed like an eternity in hell. And then he left to go be a hero. I moved back in with my parents. I worked as a volunteer at a hospital. And I prayed every night that the next day would bring the telegram saying he was dead.
    “But the telegram didn’t come. A year went by. A year in which I relived those two days over and over and over and grew more terrified—“
    “Why didn’t you tell your parents?“ Shelley asked quietly. “Surely they’d have wanted to save you. The marriage might have been annulled—”
    Babs shook her head. “Nice girls didn’t talk to anyone about sex in those days, especially not their parents. And they wouldn’t have believed me even if I could have gotten the words out. Of course, the words weren’t in my vocabulary then. Besides, he’d had the cunning not to leave marks any place that I’d dream of showing anyone. None of us had ever seen him be anything but polite and cheerful—before. No. They’d have thought I’d gone mad. And it would have destroyed a lifelong friendship between them and Bobby’s parents. Most of all, I was still a good girl.
    “Anyway, Bobby was wounded very slightly and, while recovering in a field hospital, got a severe ear infection. His father pulled all sorts of strings and got him transferred home to the States for treatment. His train arrived at five o’clock in the afternoon. Our whole social set turned out to meet the returning hero, and there was a dinner and reception planned for him at the country club. I spent the evening in the bathroom, being sick. He spent his time drinking.
    His parents wanted us to stay at their house, but my