Where Nerves End

thirty, I gave up trying to find a reason not to.
Michaels car was in the driveway. His bedroom light was on, which meant he was awake but presumably alone. Hopefully with headphones on, and his door shut, and completely oblivious to my return. Unless of course hed changed his mind and was waiting for me with condoms and lube. In that case, by all means, I hoped he was well aware that Id come home.
As I quietly climbed the stairs, I didnt hear a sound besides my own footsteps. If not for the strips of light above and below his bedroom door, I wouldnt have thought anyone was here at all.
I closed my own bedroom door behind me. Lying back on my bed with my hands behind my head, I gave in to all the fantasies that had been bouncing around in my head all night. Hell, all week. Ever since I met him, if I was honest with myself, and doubly so since Id touched him.
Closing my eyes, I suppressed a groan as my cock hardened in my jeans. I reached for my zipper, but that simple motion brought a faint, nearly inaudible creak out of the bed frame, and I froze. I was sure that creak echoed loud and clear into Michaels room, painting a picture in his head of me lying here staring at the ceiling, hard-on and all. And if I moved, if I did anything to relieve this tension, hed see it, hed know it, and hed know why.
And on the eighth day, God created the shower so men like me could jerk off without detection.
I swung my legs over the side of the bed and got up.
In the bathroom, I turned on the water, out of habit setting the temperature as high as I could bear it. It stung my skin when I stood under it, and I instinctively turned so the falling water pounded my shoulder.
My shoulder ached, but that paled in comparison to the other ache that needed to be relieved before I could even think of doing anything else, so I ignored my shoulder, braced myself against the wall with my left hand, and stroked my cock with my right.
Id had just enough of Michael to know what he sounded like, looked like, tasted like when he was as turned on as I was now. Id memorized every moan, every growl, the way his expression bordered on one of pain whenever he was close to letting go. My hand mirrored his strokes, squeezing and releasing wherever he would have if hed been in this shower with me as my mind filled in everything he did that turned me on. Kissing me with a mixture of boldness and uncertainty. The helpless moans and throaty growls when he fucked me. Hands and mouth that couldnt have been as inexperienced as they were.
God, Michael, I want you so, so bad…
My eyes rolled back, my knees buckled, and semen mixed with hot water in my hand. I released my breath and focused on holding myself upright. Don’t collapse. Don’t collapse. No bruised kneecaps on top of everything else. Stay up.
Eventually, my legs stopped shaking. My vision cleared. I caught my breath and regained my balance. Hot water still rushed over my skin. My shoulder still ached.
And Michael was still in the other room. And I was still in here. Sure I had the aftershocks of an orgasm tingling at the base of my spine, but it wasnt enough.
It wasnt nearly enough.

CHAPTER 16
    I finished going over the clubs books around t hree in the afternoon. Earlier, Id killed some time—anything to avoid the books—auditing the bartenders nightly inventory. Now there wasnt a whole lot to do except lock the place up and go home.
    Which was certainly appealing, except for the minor detail that Michael would also be closing up and heading home soon. This was Dainas custody week, so it would just be Michael and me. At least having Dylan there gave us an excuse not to let on that there had ever been anything between us. When it was just the two of us, the whole goddamned place felt like a sexual powder keg.
    I needed a beer. Beer solved everything.

    Well, okay, it didnt solve anything, but spending the late afternoon sitting in the sun with a cold beer was decidedly more appealing than going home and climbing the walls.

    Before I left my office, I pulled out my phone and sent Seth a text.

    I’m heading over to the Mountainview Pub. Want to grab a beer?

    A few minutes later, as I was locking the back door, he replied.

    Fuck yeah. Got a walk-in, will be there in 1 hr.
    At least Id have some company so I wouldnt wallow in my own thoughts.
One beer and about ninety minutes later, the ever-punctual Seth dropped into the empty chair opposite me.
I made a dramatic gesture of looking at my watch.