White Space Season 1

have? Sarah was right about their mom, and Cassidy sure as shit wasn’t going to give Emma over to her father.
    The way Jon had looked at Emma at the service made Cassidy wonder if he’d figured things out, or if perhaps Warren had told him the truth after all these years. And if so, what then? Would he sweep in with his high-priced attorneys and take Emma away?
    While Cassidy didn’t know the first thing about raising a kid, Emma was family, and she’d be damned if she’d give her up to Jon Conway. His family had done too much, hurt too many people, to ever be entrusted with such a sweet child like Emma. And while Jon was perhaps the best of the lot, it wasn’t saying much. He might not be an evil prick, but she’d seen him on TV, getting drunk, into fights with paparazzi, sleeping with models, actresses, and singers. He was just as much of an addict as she was.
    No, Cassidy decided, no way she could turn Emma over.
    Cassidy stroked Emma’s hair as she pulled the girl into a tight hug. Tears streamed down Cassidy’s face as she wondered what in the hell she would do next. She was sick and goddamned tired of being at the mercy of others, particularly the Conways. She should have left Hamilton Island years ago when she had a chance. Now she had obligations, a mother who, despite what she said, needed her, and now a child to take care of.
    Why did you have to die, Sarah?
    Fuck.
    Cassidy felt a flash of guilt. Sarah had been dead since Friday, but Cassidy had barely had time to miss or mourn her twin sister before she was thrust into the role of caregiver. She had to arrange the funeral, call people, and talk with lawyers and insurance people. Someone had already screwed up, cremating Sarah instead of burying her properly, for which Cassidy was being blamed by her mom. “Just another Cassidy Fuck-Up.”
    Cassidy wasn’t sure if burying ashes was better for Emma than seeing her mom’s dead body, but she thought maybe it was. Perhaps she should thank God for the mistake which spared Emma one more horrible memory.
    The past few days had been filled with too much to do, and Cassidy hadn’t even had time to sort through her own feelings of loss of not only her twin, but her best friend.
    Perhaps the worst part in all of this, was that Cassidy had known Sarah would die.
    Three weeks ago, Cassidy had fallen asleep in front of the TV, and woke up thinking someone was in her apartment. There wasn’t anyone there, but as she woke, she remembered a dream she’d had, vivid as daylight. Someone at the school had started shooting kids. A bullet went through the wall between the classrooms and struck Sarah, killing her instantly.
    The dream on its own might not have meant much. However, she had the dream again every night for the next two weeks. Every night.
    She wanted to tell Sarah about the dream, and to warn her.
    But what could she say that wouldn’t make her sister think she was using again?
    When Cassidy was using, she’d had several instances where she dreamed something that was going to happen. They were little things, usually, but accurate enough to make shit weird. So she told Sarah. But she’d been so manic when she told Sarah, that Sarah came down hard on her, knowing that she was using.
    There was no way Cassidy could tell Sarah about these dreams without her sister thinking she was using again. And besides, she hadn’t had any of her weird prophetic dreams since she’d stopped using. In all likelihood, she figured these were just regular dreams, fueled by a preoccupation of Cassidy’s fears of responsibility for others.
    So she kept her mouth shut, not wanting to see that familiar look of disappointment in her twin’s eyes.
    She could take that look from her mom, her friends, her lovers, and co-workers, but not from Sarah. She didn’t care if everyone in her life thought she was the black sheep of the family, the “bad sister,” and the “fuck-up,” but letting Sarah down was the last thing in the world she wanted to do. She owed her sister too much.
    And yet, in not telling her sister of the dreams, she had done just that. She let her down. And now Sarah was dead.
    Cassidy began to cry harder.
    Emma saw and felt Cassidy’s tears. She put a hand on Cassidy’s face, wiping a tear away, saying in a soft voice, “It’ll be okay, Aunt Cassidy.”
    Cassidy squeezed her eyes, and Emma, tighter, wishing she could believe the child.

    * *

    Emma fell asleep in Cassidy’s arms, and Cassidy found