White Space Season 1

He thought about riding to Katie’s, but was afraid of her mom’s reaction. To almost lose your daughter to her boyfriend’s father had to be the kind of thing that would make Alex an unwelcome guest for the foreseeable future.
    He thought about going to the ferry, getting on, and never coming back. He could go somewhere and start over in a place where he wasn’t known as the son of Roger Heller, murderer! But he couldn’t just up and leave his mother and sister. They needed him more than ever. They were alone, left to pick up the pieces and start over, attempting to rebuild their lives.
    How do you start over when the world is pulled out from under you?
    Having nowhere else to go, and not daring to reach out to any of his friends, Alex decided to go home. As he passed the Paladin security truck parked in front of his house, he saw Katie’s car in the driveway, pushing his heart to a rapid thud in his chest. Finally, someone to talk to. Not just someone, but his girlfriend – assuming she was still allowed to see him.
    Or wanted to.
    He hopped off his bike before he even hit the brakes, then kicked the stand and ran inside his house. Katie was sitting in the living room with his mom and Aubrey, talking. Her eyes were red and so was her nose. She held a fat cluster of used tissues in the palm of her right hand.
    Katie stood up, then came to Alex. She met his eyes then broke the gaze and hugged him. At first, the embrace seemed obligatory, as though part of her was afraid to fully commit. He wondered if it was a sign of new distance between them, or if maybe she were getting ready to break up with him. He squeezed her tighter, closing his eyes, trying his best not to cry. His hands found her thick, long brown hair, and he stroked her mane through their embrace.
    “God, I miss you,” he whispered.
    The warmth of her embrace was a blanket after the icy nothing that had swallowed his life since Friday. She smelled so good, too, like that raspberry soap she got from The Body Shop.
    Alex parted before he allowed himself to cry, then met her eyes. This time she didn’t look away as she wiped her tears away. “Your mom wanted me to tell her exactly what happened on the day of the shooting,” she said.
    Alex felt his stomach drop. “Oh.”
    “Do you want me to tell you?”
    Alex didn’t know what to say. He’d heard the unbelievable details on the news from police statements based on witness accounts. He’d watched the constant replays on TV of the security camera footage of students running through the halls screaming. Would he learn anything new? Would hearing the details from Katie somehow make things make sense?
    Alex looked at his mom and she nodded. “I think you need to hear this,” she said, patting the couch beside her.
    Alex sat next to his mom while Katie sat on the connecting love seat to their right and told them what happened, starting with how he was late to class, and then finally arrived looking disheveled, writing the number “eleven” on the whiteboard.
    As Katie spoke, Alex stared at his little sister, lying in her playpen, playing with her stuffed Eeyore doll, biting its tail, oblivious to the three people discussing her father and his horrible acts that would change the island, and their lives, forever.
    “He looked so … different. He wasn’t himself. Like he’d been up all night, or … drinking or something.”
    “ Dad, drink? No way,” Alex shook his head. “The hardest thing he ever drank was iced tea.”
    “It’s all so weird. This is the kind of thing you see on the news, not something that happens to people you know. Not to your friends,” Katie said, staring at Alex, though her gaze looked like it was somewhere in Seattle. “I shouldn’t have run. Maybe Jessica would be alive, or maybe Manny would be here, instead of a hospital bed, if I’d stayed put. Maybe I could’ve talked your dad out of …” Katie’s voice started to crack.
    Alex got up and moved beside Katie, hugging her, as her voice finally broke and she surrendered to sobbing.
    Alex’s mom stood, tears streaming her cheeks, and said, “I’ll be back,” before heading up the stairs.
    As Alex held Katie, he felt torn, as if he should be upstairs comforting his mother. Truth was, he didn’t know how to comfort her, or if it were even his place. She was his mom, after all. She’d always been a strong woman, independent, and part of Alex felt she needed to feel strong now more than ever before. If