With Abandon: With or Without, Book 4

blotchy again.
    Aubrey winced. The urge to do something was strong, but he knew there was nothing he could do.
    Watching Matt’s distress made his eyes go back to normal though.
    When finally the coughing died down, Matt took a deep breath. He had tears in his eyes, but they
    were human and his teeth were no longer visible below his lip. “Man. What is that stuff?”
    “Good ole scotch whisky. Cures what ails you,” Aubrey poured himself some more. He grabbed
    Matt’s glass. “Maybe you should switch to water or something.”
    Matt frowned. Rather than seeming fierce, he looked like an annoyed puppy. It was cute and brought
    to mind Keaton’s dog, Pita, tugging on someone’s pant leg. “No. Give me some more. I’m not a complete
    puss.”
    Chuckling, Aubrey added some liquor to Matt’s glass. “Try sipping this time.” He snagged a barstool
    and brought it behind the bar so he could sit facing Matt. He propped his arms on the bar and watched the glimmers of sunlight filtering in through the spaces between the closed vertical blinds. The silence
    stretched for several moments as Aubrey lifted his glass and sniffed the deep, crisp smell of alcohol. After taking a sip he set the glass down.
    “I thought Tara was my mate.” Matt frowned at his scotch and swished it side to side. He glanced up
    at Aubrey, making eye contact. Matt’s eyes were a deep blue, the color of a night sky in the country.
    “Boy, did you get screwed.”
    Matt shrugged one shoulder. “I was afraid to tell you. I thought you’d hate me.”
    “I wouldn’t have hated you.” The tightness in Aubrey’s chest eased but his conscience cringed. He
    didn’t want to hurt Matt. “I’m just sorry you got gypped. The truth sucks, huh?” Matt and Tee would look great together. Black-haired Barbie and Ken.
    “Nah. Not really. Tara would’ve made a whole other set of problems.” Matt took a sip and gave
    Aubrey a goofy little lopsided grin. It was endearing as hell. “And not just because you’re engaged to her.”
    He should just lie and tell Matt the reason there could never be anything between them was because of
    a commitment to Tara. Matt would probably be relieved, and he’d never have to learn that Aubrey was gay.
    He nodded, but what came out of his mouth was, “Tee, isn’t my fiancée.”
    “What?”
    “Tara is my best friend, but there’s nothing and never has been anything between us. Everyone just
    assumes, and we’ve never felt the need to correct the assumption.”
    20
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    With Abandon
    “Well, there is still the fact that she’s a girl.” Matt wrinkled his nose. “That would’ve been weird.”
    “Keaton said he thought you were gay.”
    Matt tilted his head. “He did?”
    “He wasn’t sure, but given our past he thought it best to mention it.”
    “Your past?”
    “It’s a long story, but Keaton thinks I tried to beat him up because he’s gay.”
    Matt’s eyes widened. “Oh no. I forgot about that.” He slapped a hand over his mouth and wilted. “I
    didn’t think my being gay would even come up, and Chay said that you’d gotten over it and—”
    “It’s not true, Matt. I don’t know what you heard, but I didn’t beat my brother up for being gay. For
    crying out loud I ripped another wolf’s throat out for him. Does that sound like something a person would do if they hated someone?”
    “Um…no. You killed someone?” Matt asked with avid interest.
    “I had no choice. He shot Chay and wouldn’t have stopped until Chay and Keaton were both dead.”
    “Oh. I’m glad. I like Keaton and Chay. That was very brave of you.”
    It hadn’t been bravado, it had been terror. “I guess.”
    Looking down, Matt bit his bottom lip. He ran his finger around and around the rim of his glass.
    Finally, he picked it up, finished it off and met Aubrey’s gaze. “Where does that leave us?”
    Aubrey hated himself for what he had to say, but he couldn’t give Matt false hope. He tossed back the
    rest of his drink, hoping it would lend him strength. “I don’t know, but I want you to stay.” He wanted to lick that full bottom lip Matt had held between his teeth too. “Other than that…” He shrugged. “I can’t afford a mate in my life, Matt, but I’d love to have another friend.”

    A phone rang, startling Aubrey out of scrutinizing his socked feet. He glanced up and around from his
    position on the floor. The phone rang again. Odd, the sound came from floor level,