Wuthering Heights

small you could
hardly see them. People would look at her face and say, “What is that?”
    ‘She would say, “It’s a
small feature.” Her capacity for attachments reminded me of her mother, who
always kept a drawer full of attachments for when Heathcliff came. If a servant
vexed her, she’d tell her father, “I’ve been vexed,” and her father would go
and kill the servant.
    ‘Till she reached the age
of thirteen, she had never been beyond the range of the park by herself. Mr
Linton would take her on a lead. Sometimes he would let her run with the lead
off. If any men drew near, he’d put a false beard and moustache on the girl and
cover her body with a blanket — even then a lesbian proposed to her.
    ‘ “Nelly,” she asked. “How
long will it be before I can walk on top of these hills off the lead? What’s on
the other side?”
    ‘ “The other side is, well,
the other side,” I said.
    ‘ “And,” she said, “what
are those golden rocks like when you stand under them?”
    ‘ “They’re like golden
rocks, Catherine,” I said. I could have said they were regional branches of
Lloyds Bank, but what good would it have done?
    ‘One day after breakfast
Catherine vanished. I asked the gardener if he had seen her. He said, “Yes, she
has ridden away on her pony along with two pointers. She was a-laughing ha-ha,
so was the horse and the pointers. They all galloped out of sight, after that I
couldn’t see them.” I went searching for her. She might have been killed
clambering among the rocks or broken her bones like the radius, the ulna, the
tibia and the fibia, the humerus, the metacarples, the coxyx. Then I came upon
Charlie, one of the pointers. He was pointing nor-nor-east. I ran to the door,
knocking vehemently. A woman answered the door vehemently. “Are you looking for
your young mistress and her laughing horse? She’s in the big house, Wuthering
Heights!”
    ‘I felt my blood run cold,
then it walked lukewarm, then ran hot again. I entered and there was my young
mistress seated on the earth and by her lay the other pointer, pointing due
south. There was Hareton, now eighteen, who stared at her, not comprehending
her witty talk or silver laughter: all the lad wanted was a shag.
    ‘ “Miss,” I said, “put your
hat on and home at once!”
    ‘ “What do you mean?” she
asked.
    ‘ “Hur-Hur-Hur,” went
Hareton. “Dats fune-ee Hur Hur Hur.”
    ‘ “Put the home on and hat
at once,” I said: it still didn’t sound right.
    ‘ “Hur Hur Hur,” laughed
Hareton, who only wanted a shag.
    ‘I said, “Home hat and put
on.” It was getting worse.
    ‘In a temper Catherine
stamped her foot — unfortunately on the dog’s tail — the dog bolted and shot
out of the back door, nor-nor-east.
    ‘ “Now, now,” I said to
her, “let us have no petulance.”
    ‘ “Let us have no
petulance,” she repeated. “What’s wrong with having no petulance? It doesn’t
harm anybody. I’ve had no petulance. It doesn’t harm anybody. I’ve had no
petulance many times and it’s never affected me,” she said, stamping her foot
where the dog’s tail used to be. “Oh, dear, he’s gone,” she said sadly.
    ‘ “Put the hat on at home
at once!” I said, getting less articulate by the minute. “Miss Catherine, if
you were aware whose house this was, you’d be glad to leave,” I said.
    ‘ “It’s your father’s,
isn’t it?” said Catherine to Hareton.
    ‘ “Dur no hes nod my
farder,” said the lad.
    ‘ “Oh, then,” said
Catherine, “you must be a servant.”
    ‘At this remark Hareton
grew black as thunder.
    ‘ “Look,” said Catherine,
“he’s about to start raining.”
    ‘ “Damn you, you saucy
witch,” said Hareton with cutting wit.
    ‘ “I’m sorry to tell you
this,” I said. “This lad is your cousin.”
    ‘At this she grabbed her
throat, and gasped, “No, not this idiot,” and fainted to the floor with a
sickening thud.
    ‘ “Der, O’im zorry O
offended ’ee,” said Hareton, and threw a bucket of water over her. He was quite
a well-built lad, used to lounging on the moors after rabbits, grouse and
kangaroos, but mostly he wanted a shag. At times the heat in his trousers was
unbearable, so it was necessary to put leeches and weights on him to reduce the
swelling.
    ‘Contrite, he brought Catherine’s
high-spirited pony to the back door, which was unfortunate as she had gone to
the front one. Finally, she mounted her high-spirited pony. She