Wyrd Sisters

hot tears were streaming down Hwel’s face.
    “By all the gods,” he said, when Tomjon had finished, “I must have been on damn good form when I wrote that.” He blew his nose noisily.
    “Do I sound like that?” said Willikins, his face pale.
    Vitoller patted him gently on the shoulder.
    “If you sounded like that, my bonny,” he said, “you wouldn’t be standing arse-deep in slush in the middle of these forsaken fields, with nothing but liberated cabbage for thy tea.”
    He clapped his hands.
    “No more, no more,” he said, his breath making puffs of steam in the freezing air. “Backs to it, everybody. We must be outside the walls of Sto Lat by sunset.”
    As the grumbling actors awoke from the spell and wandered back to the shafts of the lattys Vitoller beckoned to the dwarf and put his arm around his shoulders, or rather around the top of his head.
    “Well?” he said. “You people know all about magic, or so it is said. What do you make of it?”
    “He spends all his time around the stage, master. It’s only natural that he should pick things up,” said Hwel vaguely.
    Vitoller leaned down.
    “Do you believe that?”
    “I believe I heard a voice that took my doggerel and shaped it and fired it back through my ears and straight into my heart,” said Hwel simply. “I believe I heard a voice that got behind the crude shape of the words and said the things I had meant them to say, but had not the skill to achieve. Who knows where such things come from?”
    He stared impassively into Vitoller’s red face. “He may have inherited it from his father,” he said.
    “But—”
    “And who knows what witches may achieve?” said the dwarf.
    Vitoller felt his wife’s hand pushed into his. As he stood up, bewildered and angry, she kissed him on the back of the neck.
    “Don’t torture yourself,” she said. “Isn’t it all for the best? Your son has declaimed his first word.”

    Spring came, and ex-King Verence still wasn’t taking being dead lying down. He prowled the castle relentlessly, seeking for a way in which its ancient stones would release their grip on him.
    He was also trying to keep out of the way of the other ghosts.
    Champot was all right, if a bit tiresome. But Verence had backed away at the first sight of the Twins, toddling hand in hand along the midnight corridors, their tiny ghosts a memorial to a deed darker even than the usual run of regicidal unpleasantness.
    And then there was the Troglodyte Wanderer, a rather faded monkeyman in a furry loincloth who apparently happened to haunt the castle merely because it had been built on his burial mound. For no obvious reason a chariot with a screaming woman in it occasionally rumbled through the laundry room. As for the kitchen…
    One day he’d given in, despite everything old Champot had said, and had followed the smells of cooking into the big, hot, high domed cavern that served the castle as kitchen and abattoir. Funny thing, that. He’d never been down there since his childhood. Somehow kings and kitchens didn’t go well together.
    It was full of ghosts.
    But they weren’t human. They weren’t even protohuman.
    They were stags. They were bullocks. They were rabbits, and pheasants, and partridges, and sheep, and pigs. There were even some round blobby things that looked unpleasantly like the ghosts of oysters. They were packed so tightly that in fact they merged and mingled, turning the kitchen into a silent, jostling nightmare of teeth and fur and horns, half-seen and misty. Several noticed him, and there was a weird blarting of noises that sounded far-off, tinny and unpleasantly out of register. Through them all the cook and his assistants wandered quite unconcernedly, making vegetarian sausages.
    Verence had stared for half a minute and then fled, wishing that he still had a real stomach so that he could stick his fingers down his throat for forty years and bring up everything he’d eaten.
    He’d sought solace in the stables, where his beloved hunting dogs had whined and scratched at the door and had generally been very ill-at-ease at his sensed but unseen presence.
    Now he haunted—and how he hated the word—the Long Gallery, where paintings of long-dead kings looked down at him from the dusty shadows. He would have felt a lot more kindly toward them if he hadn’t met a number of them gibbering in various parts of the premises.
    Verence had decided that he had two aims in death. One was to get out of the castle and