Wyrd Sisters

It occurred to her that in addition to being a collection of other things, the forest was a thing in itself. Alive, only not alive in the way that, say, a shrew was alive.
    And much slower .
    That would have to be important. How fast did a forest’s heart beat? Once a year, maybe. Yes, that sounded about right. Out there the forest was waiting for the brighter sun and longer days that would pump a million gallons of sap several hundred feet into the sky in one great systolic thump too big and loud to be heard.
    And it was at about this point that Granny bit her lip.
    She’d just thought the word “systolic,” and it certainly wasn’t in her vocabulary.
    Somebody was inside her head with her.
    Some thing.
    Had she just thought all those thoughts, or had they been thought through her?
    She glared at the floor, trying to keep her ideas to herself. But her mind was being watched as easily as if her head was made of glass.
    Granny Weatherwax got to her feet and opened the curtains.
    And they were out there on what—in warmer months—was the lawn. And every single one of them was staring at her.
    After a few minutes Granny’s front door opened. This was an event in its own right; like most Ramtoppers Granny lived her life via the back door. There were only three times in your life when it was proper to come through the front door, and you were carried every time.
    It opened with considerable difficulty, in a series of painful jerks and thumps. A few flakes of paint fell onto the snowdrift in front of the door, which sagged inward. Finally, when it was about halfway open, the door wedged.
    Granny sidled awkwardly through the gap and out onto the hitherto undisturbed snow.
    She had put her pointed hat on, and the long black cloak which she wore when she wanted anyone who saw her to be absolutely clear that she was a witch.
    There was an elderly kitchen chair half buried in snow. In summer it was a handy place to sit and do whatever hand chores were necessary, while keeping one eye on the track. Granny hauled it out, brushed the snow off the seat, and sat down firmly with her knees apart and her arms folded defiantly. She stuck out her chin.
    The sun was well up but the light on this Hogswatchday was still pink and slanting. It glowed on the great cloud of steam that hung over the assembled creatures. They hadn’t moved, although every now and again one of them would stamp a hoof or scratch itself.
    Granny looked up at a flicker of movement. She hadn’t noticed before, but every tree around her garden was so heavy with birds that it looked as though a strange brown and black spring had come early.
    Occupying the patch where the herbs grew in summer were the wolves, sitting or lolling with their tongues hanging out. A contingent of bears was crouched behind them, with a platoon of deer beside them. Occupying the metterforical stalls was a rabble of rabbits, weasels, vermine, badgers, foxes and miscellaneous creatures who, despite the fact that they live their entire lives in a bloody atmosphere of hunter and hunted, killing or being killed by claw, talon and tooth, are generally referred to as woodland folk.
    They rested together on the snow, their normal culinary relationships entirely forgotten, trying to outstare her.
    Two things were immediately apparent to Granny. One was that this seemed to represent a pretty accurate cross-section of the forest life.
    The other she couldn’t help saying aloud.
    “I don’t know what this spell is,” she said. “But I’ll tell you this for nothing—when it wears off, some of you little buggers had better get moving.”
    None of them stirred. There was no sound except for an elderly badger relieving itself with an embarrassed expression.
    “Look,” said Granny. “What can I do about it? It’s no good you coming to me. He’s the new lord. This is his kingdom. I can’t go meddling. It’s not right to go meddling, on account of I can’t interfere with people ruling. It has to sort itself out, good or bad. Fundamental rule of magic, is that. You can’t go around ruling people with spells, because you’d have to use more and more spells all the time.” She sat back, grateful that long-standing tradition didn’t allow the Crafty and the Wise to rule. She remembered what it had felt like to wear the crown, even for a few seconds.
    No, things like crowns had a troublesome effect on clever folk; it was best to leave all the reigning to the kind of people whose eyebrows