Wyrd Sisters

important,” sniffed Nanny.
    “What kind of a theater?”
    “They didn’t say. Something for the duke, I think.”
    “What’s he want a theater for?”
    “They didn’t say that, either.”
    “It’s probably all a trick to get in the castle,” Granny said knowingly. “Very clever idea. Did you see anything in the carts?”
    “Boxes and bundles and such.”
    “They’ll be full of armor and weapons, depend upon it.”
    Nanny Ogg looked doubtful.
    “They didn’t look very much like soldiers to me. They were awfully young and spotty.”
    “Clever. I expect in the middle of the play the king will manifest his destiny, right where everyone can see him. Good plan.”
    “That’s another thing,” said Nanny, picking up a bean pod and chewing it. “He doesn’t seem to like the place much.”
    “Of course he does. It’s in his blood.”
    “I brought him the pretty way. He didn’t seem very impressed.”
    Granny hesitated.
    “He was probably suspicious of you,” she concluded. “He was probably too overcome to speak, really.”
    She put down the bowl of beans and looked thoughtfully at the trees.
    “Have you got any family still working up at the castle?” she said.
    “Shirl and Daff help out in the kitchens since the cook went off his head.”
    “Good. I’ll have a word with Magrat. I think we should see this theater.”

    “Perfect,” said the duke.
    “Thank you,” said Hwel.
    “You’ve got it exactly spot on about that dreadful accident,” said the duke. “You might almost have been there. Ha. Ha.”
    “You weren’t, were you?” said Lady Felmet, leaning forward and glaring at the dwarf.
    “I just used my imagination,” said Hwel hurriedly. The duchess glared at him, suggesting that his imagination could consider itself lucky it wasn’t being dragged off to the courtyard to explain itself to four angry wild horses and a length of chain.
    “Exactly right,” said the duke, leafing one-handedly through the pages. “This is exactly, exactly, exactly how it was.”
    “ Will have been ,” snapped the duchess.
    The duke turned another page.
    “You’re in this too,” he said. “Amazing. It’s a word for word how I’m going to remember it. I see you’ve got Death in it, too.”
    “Always popular,” said Hwel. “People expect it.”
    “How soon can you act it?”
    “Stage it,” corrected Hwel, and added, “We’ve tried it out. As soon as you like.” And then we can get away from here, he said to himself, away from your eyes like two raw eggs and this female mountain in the red dress and this castle which seems to act like a magnet for the wind. This is not going to go down as one of my best plays, I know that much.
    “How much did we say we were going to pay you?” said the duchess.
    “I think you mentioned another hundred silver pieces,” said Hwel.
    “Worth every penny,” said the duke.
    Hwel left hurriedly, before the duchess could start to bargain. But he felt he’d gladly pay something to be out of this place. Bijou, he thought. Gods, how could anyone like a kingdom like this?

    The Fool waited in the meadow with the lake. He stared wistfully at the sky and wondered where the hell Magrat was. This was, she said, their place; the fact that a few dozen cows also shared it at the moment didn’t appear to make any difference.
    She turned up in a green dress and a filthy temper.
    “What’s all this about a play?” she said.
    The Fool sagged onto a willow log.
    “Aren’t you glad to see me?” he said.
    “Well, yes. Of course. Now, this play…”
    “My lord wants something to convince people that he is the rightful King of Lancre. Himself mostly, I think.”
    “Is that why you went to the city?”
    “Yes.”
    “It’s disgusting!”
    The Fool sat calmly. “You would prefer the duchess’s approach?” he said. “She just thinks they ought to kill everyone. She’s good at that sort of thing. And then there’d be fighting, and everything. Lots of people would die anyway. This way might be easier.”
    “Oh, where’s your spunk, man?”
    “Pardon?”
    “Don’t you want to die nobly for a just cause?”
    “I’d much rather live quietly for one. It’s all right for you witches, you can do what you like, but I’m circumscribed,” said the Fool.
    Magrat sat down beside him. Find out all about this play , Granny had ordered. Go and talk to that jingling friend of yours . She’d replied, He’s very loyal. He might not tell me anything . And