You Look Different in Real Life

slowly.
    “We’re off to find Keira,” I say, as no-nonsense as I can.
    “What? No. I don’t think that’s—”
    “You’ll tell us where she went,” interrupts Nate.
    Leslie looks at him, stung. Completely betrayed. “How do I know where she went?”
    “Please,” he says. “You know. You struck a deal with her. Now we’d like you to strike a deal with us.”
    Lance and Leslie exchange a look, then turn to us with the raised eyebrows and tilted heads of Go on .
    “We’d like you to give us the same information you gave Keira,” says Nate, now sounding as friendly as if he were ordering a box of cookies from a Girl Scout. “About her mom.”
    Leslie looks at me and I nod. It feels a little weird having Nate say this, since I’m the one who thought of it, but I have to admit it sounds better coming from him.
    “What’s the alternative?” asks Lance.
    “We leave anyway, and we drop out of the film completely.” Nate pauses, looking at his hands for a moment. It’s so obvious, even voiced by Nate, that this bargaining chip was my brainchild. “But if you give us some help here, we’ll come back, and we can talk about our experience, and maybe you’ll still have a story to tell.”
    Now, I let myself glance at Rory and Felix, who I have kept as blurs in my peripheral vision. Rory seems fascinated, her mouth open a bit, like she’s transfixed by a TV show. Felix. Well, Felix’s features have hardened into something decidedly un-Felix.
    Leslie leans heavily against the staircase banister and opens one palm. She seems quite taken with it for a moment, as if she forgot what her own hand looks like. Lance is shooting her with the camera. “This has gotten so crazy,” she says. “I don’t understand why.” She looks at Nate with a resolve I haven’t yet seen. “It’s important to you, that you find her. Right?”
    Nate raises his eyes to the ceiling, takes a deep breath. “Yes.”
    Leslie turns to Lance and shrugs, then says simply: “We need to let them go.” It could mean so many things. She straightens up. “Let me get a pen and paper.”
    As Leslie walks back to the kitchen, Felix steps up to me. His cheeks flushed. “You and Nate ?”
    “I didn’t plan that. I’m still in denial about it.” Then, an idea. “Do you want to come?”
    Felix looks at Nate and their eyes bounce away from each other. Felix shifts his gaze to Lance and the camera. “No. I need to . . . be here.”
    “I’m not sure how much here will be left after we’re gone,” I say, but Felix shakes his head sadly.
    Leslie comes back into the foyer and hands Nate an envelope. “That’s everything we gave her. I’m going from memory because all my notes were in my phone and Keira has that, but it’s the best I can do.”
    “Thank you,” says Nate sincerely.
    “I’m sorry this was such a disaster,” says Leslie.
    At that, Pam gives her a dirty look. “Nothing is a disaster once you have time to reflect on it. I’m sorry this workshop wasn’t fruitful in the way we’d all hoped.”
    I’m tempted to say something trite like Oh, it was, I really feel like I grew , but what’s the point? Instead, I just take my backpack from Nate and step onto the porch.
    “Wait!” yells Rory. She’s walking slowly down the stairs. I had no idea she’d even gone up there. She’s clutching Misty to her neck, looking unsure of herself, forcing one step in front of the other toward us. “I want to come too.”
    “Rory,” I say, “I don’t think—”
    She stops cold. “You don’t think what? You don’t want me along?”
    For two months, I’ve been hoping for a situation where Rory actually wants to be in my company. Why am I discouraging her?
    “There’s no real plan here. No schedule. No routine. Can you handle that?”
    Her eyes widen for a moment, but her body gets more rigid with what seems like resolve.
    “I want to be part of whatever you’re doing.”
    She forces a totally practiced smile that I’m sure she’s run through in a mirror countless times, and it suddenly seems impossible that we could leave Rory behind. Of course, she needs to come with us. Besides, she’s useful when it comes to certain things, like getting unlost.
    “Okay,” I say. She walks past me to Olivia’s car, gets into the backseat, slams the door shut. I see Olivia turn to say something to her.
    Now Nate is moving down the steps to the car, leaving me to face the crew and Pam and Felix alone. Felix is staring at the