You Look Different in Real Life

Cannibal Apple sign. A minute later, before we get to the Hunter Farms store we all know so well, Nate turns down a dirt road I’ve forgotten was even there. We bump our way past some outbuildings until we reach the back of his house. I’ve seen it from the road and the orchards, but never this close. It’s set deep onto the property with a view of the mountains, and has always seemed like something out of a movie set.
    Nate pulls the car up to the back door alongside a beat-up sedan. “Looks like only my mom is home,” he says. “This should be easy. Keep it running.”
    Keep it running , like this is a getaway car. Then Nate is quickly gone, into the house. I turn to look at Felix. He’s staring at the place with what I can best describe as reluctant longing.
    “When was the last time you were inside?” I ask.
    “Can’t remember,” he says, shrugging extra casually. “It was years ago.”
    For a minute, we’re silent. If we had our cell phones, we’d be messing around on them to momentarily check out of this situation. But I’m getting used to that feeling of being stuck in the here and now.
    We hear something slam somewhere, a truck door perhaps. Felix and I both slouch down in our seats. Rory looks at us, puzzled, then follows our lead.
    “Wait a minute,” I say. “Why are we hiding?”
    “ I’m hiding because my dad could be around,” says Felix. “ You’re hiding because you have a lot of guilt about starting this thing and it’s making you jumpy.”
    I’m about to ask him to elaborate when Nate emerges from the house, gingerly closing the back door, then running on his toes to the car. He slides in, throws the gear shift into reverse, and in seconds the Hunter house is becoming a distant icon again.
    “Done,” says Nate simply.
    “Nobody saw you?”
    “Nope,” says Nate. “But they’ve contacted our families by now, don’t you think? We should call them ourselves to do some damage control.” Nate hands me his cell phone and turns onto a road that will lead us quickly to the thruway. “I want to get moving but we can stop at a rest area later, and then I’ll try Keira.”
    It feels weird to be holding Nate’s phone. I instantlythink about how much time it spends in Nate’s pocket, and then try to unthink that.
    “You seem to have this all figured out,” I say.
    “Well, you got us out of Aikya Lodge. I figured, the least I can do is fill in some gaps.” He smiles sideways at me.
    “So what’s next, Captain?”
    “We can be in the city in two hours. We’ll meet up with Keira, take it from there.”
    “Have you ever driven in the city?”
    Nate’s smile vanishes. I see his upper arms tense under the fabric of his forest green T-shirt. “No.”
    “Have you ever even driven on the thruway?”
    “A few times. With my grandparents in the car. Just chill, okay? I can be a rock star driver if you stop making me nervous with questions about it.”
    “Can I make you nervous with questions about something else?” Nate warily lifts his eyebrows. “What if we can’t find Keira before tonight? Should we just come home?”
    Truth is, I’m embarrassed that I’m asking all this now instead of anticipating it from the beginning. I was focused on getting out and had faith that the rest would fall into place.
    “I’ve got someone to call, if it comes to that. Remember Dylan Boone? He graduated two years ago? Now he’s at NYU.”
    Dylan Boone, another swim team star.
    “Is he the one who came out of the closet, like, two days after he left Mountain Ridge?”
    “Surprising absolutely no one,” says Nate. “He’s a good guy. We’ve kept in touch. I’m sure we can crash at his dorm room if we have to.”
    Dylan Boone, who could have gotten an athletic scholarship to any college he wanted, but chose to go to school in Greenwich Village. It gave me a new respect for him.
    “Who waits until they leave Mountain Ridge to come out anyway?” I wonder aloud. “I mean, honestly. We have our own Pride parade.”
    Nate and Felix shrug. After a few moments, it’s Rory who speaks.
    “There are a million reasons, Justine,” she says matter-of-factly, and suddenly I feel this surge of holy shit . Is Rory a lesbian? If she is, she’s done a genius job of hiding it, because we used to talk about kissing boys all the time. Rory was almost scientifically obsessed with this, creating what she thought was a hyperrealistic set of fake lips involving a balloon and hair gel. It would