You Look Different in Real Life

wrong?”
    “It’s too embarrassing,” I say, waving her off.
    “If you’re feeling sick, you need to tell me.”
    “I . . . just, uh . . . I really have to get to a bathroom. Is there an outhouse nearby or something?”
    Pam shakes her head. “We’ll be at the lodge in ten minutes. Can you make it?”
    “I think so . . .” Then after a pause, I grimace. “Maybe not.”
    I mean, really. This is Oscar-worthy fake diarrhea.
    “Do you want to run ahead?” Pam hands me a key on a beaded keychain. “Go, go. We’ll see you in a few.”
    I nod quickly, gratefully, grabbing the key and then taking off, ahead of the others, not even looking at Nate, as fast as I can. All I can think is, The phone, the phone, the phone. Please let her pick up. Please let her pick up.

FOURTEEN
    W hen we come downstairs from changing into clean clothes, Pam has laid out a make-your-own-sandwich spread. I’m not sure how we’re supposed to bond over deli turkey and half-green tomato slices, but whatever. Lance has the camera set up on the tripod and Kenny’s already positioned with the boom mic.
    I’m wearing two tees—my vintage black E.T. shirt on top of a long-sleeved plain white one—and my jeans are tucked into my high-tops because, for some reason, this makes me feel more prepared.
    What the grown-ups don’t know is that I’ve done morethan change. I’ve packed. Nate too. I build myself a huge sandwich. Eat up . You have no idea when you’ll be able to grab some food again. Nate and I exchange a glance and I know he’s doing the same thing.
    The clock says 1:04. She could be here any minute.
    Rory sits down first, with her plate full of food items carefully arranged so nothing touches. I notice she’s changed into an outfit that looks funkier than she probably planned: a ruffled turquoise blouse and deep purple track pants. She’s got the turkey and swiss cheese rolled up and aligned parallel, an inch apart. One tumbles toward the other as she puts the plate down, and she takes a moment to even them out again.
    I sit two seats away from her at the big round table and Felix joins me.
    “How are you feeling?” he asks.
    “Better. Thanks.”
    “To be honest, I’m kind of glad that happened to you because now nobody remembers how awful I was on the rocks.”
    “Good thing they got you on film, then,” I say. I mean this as a joke, but Felix drops his sandwich onto the plate and sighs. I guess he’s officially reached the point where he forgets the cameras are there. I’ve never been to that point myself.
    After we’re all situated, Pam sits down with a glass of water and no food. I have not yet seen this woman eat.
    “So. Reactions to the bouldering activity? What sticks in your head?”
    “My fingers hurt,” says Nate. “I forgot about that feeling.”
    “We would have expected you to climb with confidence. Because you’re an athlete. Did you feel those expectations?”
    “Yeah, of course,” says Nate. He gets a faraway look. “I’m used to those expectations.”
    “What about you, Justine? You had a moment on the rock where you looked . . . surprised.”
    “I was,” I say.
    “Can you elaborate?”
    “I surprised myself.”
    “Why? Didn’t you think you could do it?”
    And then, right at the moment when I need it, I hear a car in the driveway.
    Pam frowns, then looks hopefully at Leslie, who returns the look and passes it over to Lance. Leslie rushes to the window and when the hope turns into confusion, I know this is my ride.
    I get up, fighting the urge to wrap my sandwich to go, and glance at Nate with meaning before leaving the room. I can hear him follow and then, when we reach the foyer, he turns to run upstairs.
    “Justine?” asks Leslie on our heels.
    I’m at the front door now. Then I’m out the door and onto the porch. The car sits in the driveway.
    “Hey!” I shout.
    “I almost didn’t find it,” says Olivia as she rolls down the window.
    “Give us a minute,” I say, and run back inside, leaving the door open. Nate is flying down the stairs two at a time, holding his backpack and mine.
    Now Leslie and Lance and Pam and Kenny are standing in the foyer, with the exact looks on their faces that I had imagined. Lance still has the camera running and Kenny positions the boom mic. It’s like I scripted this and now we’re acting it out.
    Rory and Felix are coming up behind them now, Felix chewing a mouthful of food.
    “What’s going on?” asks Leslie