1936 On the Continent

dissuade you from coming to Budapest. The town will bore you to tears. You like to throw away money with both hands and here most unfortunately there is little chance for that. Bearing London prices in mind, in the most expensive Budapest hotel, the one where the Prince of Wales stayed, a room won’t cost you as much as 10s. a day. You can get it for 6s. in first-class hotels. At the Budapest office of the Hungarian Travel Association you can buy a book of tickets for £15, with which you can stay three weeks at the best thermal hotels. Apart from your room, you can use all the medicinal baths, you will be taken around the town in charabancs and could see Budapest. You get cheap tickets for the theatres and concerts, pay nothing for your visa, get 50 per cent. reduction on the Hungarian railways. And that £15 includes service, light and heating, tips and, of course, all your meals. In case you are on a diet you can get special food and pay nothing extra. From this you can see that Hungarians are the most reckless people on earth. As regards travelling, the quickest way is to fly. It takes you about eight hours to fly from London to Budapest, and costs you £17. Last time you saw me in London I came by one of the machines of the Imperial Airways. Four engines and perfect comfort. Their pilots are frightful cheats. I mean we always arrived
before
the scheduled time. The journey was simply magnificent. From Cologne to London we flew over the clouds, as ifflying over huge dazzling snowfields glittering in the sunshine. With my watch and time-table in hand, I estimated we must have been somewhere over Ostend, when the machine began to descend. It broke through the veil of clouds and to my great astonishment I saw Croydon underneath. Again the pilot stole thirty minutes from the scheduled time. In the future I shall not make one single step without an air-plane. Not even when I want to go from one room to the other. The train journey is a little cheaper. Third class costs you £6, and second class is not quite £10. If you are tired of the train journey you could take the motor-bus or the boat at Vienna. The latter I strongly recommend. The boat from Vienna won’t cost you more than 6s., and the journey on the “Blue Danube” is really lovely. I can tell you (but don’t let it go further, will you) that the Danube is blue only on picture postcards and in the Viennese valses; in reality it is exactly like any other large river. If the sky is cloudy it is grey; but in sunshine it looks sometimes like liquid gold. As the boat is reaching Budapest and the outline of the hills and the huge bridges unfold themselves, you will see a sight for which all through your life you will bless the day when you made the acquaintance of such an important man as my humble self.
    By the way, will you bring evening frocks with you as Hungarians are very keen on going out in the evening. Budapest is as full of the buzz of gipsy music as the flowers of the elder tree with the music of the bees in the spring. And here you can get some of the best wines of the world for 2s. or 3s. a bottle. Unfortunately, I am not a vineyard owner and so I am quite impartial in recommending them to your attention. Leave your money at home and bring your good humour.
    A few days later Miss Glinton replied that she was more interested in water than wine. She heard that Budapest has excellent waters. Her mother has been suffering for some time from rheumatism, and she would be glad if I could give her detailed information about thermal baths. So I wrote her the following:
My Second Letter to Miss Glinton
    A few years ago a famous French author, a friend of mine, had come to Budapest and asked me to show himround the town. Within the first hour or so we had both come to the shattering conclusion that I knew next to nothing about my home town. Finally, he took me by the arm and began to explain in a faintly lecturing mood:
    “Now, listen, Zilahy. Budapest is the largest watering place in the whole world, with a ‘season’ throughout the year. Eighty medicinal springs, nine hot springs and two hundred aperient springs have been explored so far.”
    “How d’you know that?”
    “I have just read it in this guide-book while you went to ask the policeman where the Folklore Museum was. Fancy you not knowing that. Well, I think it would be better if I’d shown you round in your own town. I am, for the first time, in Budapest, while you are merely ‘living’