A Blink of the Screen

Skung.
    Erdan stood impassively, making it quite clear that he was going to stay there until the Snow Mammoths of Hy-Kooli came home.
    History records a great many foolish comments, such as, ‘It looks perfectly safe’, or ‘Indians? What Indians?’ and Dogger added to the list with an old favourite which has caused more encyclopedias and life insurance policies to be sold than you would have thought possible.
    ‘I suppose,’ he said, ‘that you’d better come in.’
    No one could look that much like Erdan. His leather jerkin looked as though it had been stored in a compost heap. His fingernails were purple, his hands callused, his chest a trelliswork of scars. Something with a mouth the size of an armchair appeared to have got a grip on his arm at some time, but couldn’t have liked the taste.
    What it is, Dogger thought, is I’m externalizing my fantasies. Or I’m probably still asleep. The important thing is to act natural.
    ‘Well, well,’ he said.
    Erdan ducked into what Dogger liked to call his study, which was just like any other living room but had his word processor on the table, and sat down in the armchair. The springs gave a threatening creak.
    Then he gave Dogger an expectant look.
    Of course, Dogger told himself, he may just be your everyday homicidal maniac.
    ‘Your final reward?’ he said weakly.
    Erdan nodded.
    ‘Er. What form does this take, exactly?’
    Erdan shrugged. Several muscles had to move out of the way to allow the huge shoulders to rise and fall.
    ‘It is said,’ he said, ‘that those who die in combat will feast and carouse in your hall forever.’
    ‘Oh.’ Dogger hovered uncertainly in the doorway. ‘My hall?’
    Erdan nodded again. Dogger looked around him. What with the telephone and the coatrack it was already pretty crowded. Opportunities for carouse looked limited.
    ‘And, er,’ he said, ‘how long is forever, exactly?’
    ‘Until the stars die and the Great Ice covers the world,’ said Erdan.
    ‘Ah. I thought it might be something like that.’
    Cobham’s voice crackled in the earpiece.
    ‘You’ve what?’ it said.
    ‘I said I’ve given him a lager and a chicken leg and put him in front of the television,’ said Dogger. ‘You know what? It was the fridge that really impressed him. He says I’ve got the next Ice Age shut in a prison, what do you think of that? And the TV is how I spy on the world, he says. He’s watching
Neighbours
and he’s laughing.’
    ‘Well, what do you expect me to do about it?’
    ‘Look, no one could act that much like Erdan! It’d take weeks just to get the stink right! I mean, it’s him. Really him. Just as I always imagined him. And he’s sitting in my study watching soaps! You’re my agent, what do I do next?’
    ‘Just calm down.’ Cobham’s voice sounded soothing. ‘Erdan is your creation. You’ve lived with him for years.’
    ‘Years is okay! Years was in my head. It’s right now in my house that’s on my mind!’
    ‘… and he’s very popular and it’s only to be expected that, when you take a big step like killing him off …’
    ‘You know I had to do it! I mean, twenty-six books!’ The sound of Erdan’s laughter boomed through the wall.
    ‘Okay, so it’s preyed on your mind. I can tell. He’s not really there. You said the milkman couldn’t see him.’
    ‘The postman. Yes, but he walked around him! Ron, I created him! He thinks I’m God! And now I’ve killed him off, he’s come to meet me!’
    ‘Kevin?’
    ‘Yes? What?’
    ‘Take a few tablets or something. He’s bound to go away. These things do.’
    Dogger put the phone down carefully.
    ‘Thanks a lot,’ he said bitterly.
    In fact, he gave it a try. He went down to the hypermarket and pretended that the hulking figure that followed him wasn’t really there.
    It wasn’t that Erdan was invisible to other people. Their eyes saw him all right, but somehow their brains seemed to edit him out before he impinged on any higher centres.
    That is, they could walk around him and even apologized automatically if they bumped into him, but afterwards they would be at a loss to explain what they had walked around and who they had apologized to.
    Dogger left him behind in the maze of shelves, working on a desperate theory that if Erdan was out of his sight for a while he might evaporate, like smoke. He grabbed a few items, scurried through a blessedly clear checkout, and was back on the pavement before a cheerful shout made him stiffen