A Darkness More Than Night

knew. Hell, even if they weren’t backed up till Easter in Quantico, I’d take you over any of those profilers. I mean that. You were -”
    “Okay, Jaye, we don’t need a sales pitch, okay? My ego is doing okay without all the -”
    “Then what do you need?”
    He looked back at her.
    “Just some time. I need to think about this.”
    “I’m here because my gut says I don’t have much time.”
    McCaleb got up and walked to the railing. His gaze was out to the sea. A Catalina Express ferry was coming in. He knew it would be almost empty. The winter months brought few visitors.
    “The boat’s coming in,” he said. “It’s the winter schedule, Jaye. You better catch it going back or you’ll be here all night.”
    “I’ll have dispatch send a chopper for me if I have to. Terry, all I need from you is one day at the most. One night, even. Tonight. You sit down, read the book, look at the tape and then call me in the morning, tell me what you see. Maybe it’s nothing or at least nothing that’s new. But maybe you’ll see something we’ve missed or you’ll get an idea we haven’t come up with yet. That’s all I’m asking. I don’t think it’s a lot.”
    McCaleb looked away from the incoming boat and turned so his back leaned against the rail.
    “It doesn’t seem like a lot to you because you’re in the life. I’m not. I’m out of it, Jaye. Even going back into it for a day is going to change things. I moved out here to start over and to forget all the stuff I was good at. To get good at being something else. At being a father and a husband, for starters.”
    Winston got up and walked to the railing. She stood next to him but looked out at the view while he remained facing his home. She spoke in a low voice. If Graciela was listening from somewhere inside, she could not hear this.
    “Remember with Graciela’s sister what you told me? You told me you got a second shot at life and that there had to be a reason for it. Now you’ve built this life with her sister and her son and now even your own child. That’s wonderful, Terry, I really think so. But that can’t be the reason you were looking for. You might think it is but it’s not. Deep down you know it. You were good at catching these people. Next to that, what is catching fish?”
    McCaleb nodded slightly and was uncomfortable with himself for doing it so readily.
    “Leave the stuff,” he said. “I’ll call you when I can.”
    On the way to the door Winston looked about for Graciela but didn’t see her.
    “She’s probably in with the baby,” McCaleb said.
    “Well, tell her I said good-bye.”
    “I will.”
    There was an awkward silence the rest of the way to the door. Finally, as McCaleb opened it, Winston spoke.
    “So what’s it like, Terry? Being a father.”
    “It’s the best of times, it’s the worst of times.”
    His stock answer. He then thought a moment and added something he had thought about but never said, not even to Graciela.
    “It’s like having a gun to your head all the time.”
    Winston looked confused and maybe even a little concerned.
    “How so?”
    “Because I know if anything ever happens to her, anything, then my life is over.”
    She nodded.
    “I think I can understand that.”
    She went through the door. She looked rather silly as she left. A seasoned homicide detective riding away in a golf cart.

Chapter 2
    Sunday dinner with Graciela and Raymond was a quiet affair. They ate white sea bass McCaleb had caught with the charter that morning on the back side of the island near the isthmus. His charters always wanted to keep the fish they caught but then often changed their minds when they got back to the harbor. It was something about the killing instinct in men, McCaleb believed. It wasn’t enough just to catch their quarry. They must kill it as well. It meant fish was often served at dinner at the house on La Mesa.
    McCaleb had grilled the fish along with corn still in the husks on the porch barbecue. Graciela had made a salad and biscuits. They both had a glass of white wine in front of them. Raymond had milk. The meal was good but the silence wasn’t. McCaleb looked over at Raymond and realized the boy had picked up on the vibe passed between the adults and was going along with the tide. McCaleb remembered how he had done the same thing when he was a boy and his parents were throwing silence at each other. Raymond was the son of Graciela’s sister, Gloria. His father had never been part of