A Game of Thrones 4-Book Bundle

towerhouse, more than the useless old fool deserved.”
    â€œI hear that useless old fool slew two of Slynt’s gold cloaks when they tried
to seize him at the Mud Gate.”
    His sister looked very unhappy. “Janos should have sent more men. He is not as
competent as might be wished.”
    â€œSer Barristan was the Lord Commander of Robert Baratheon’s Kingsguard,”
Tyrion reminded her pointedly. “He and Jaime are the only survivors of Aerys
Targaryen’s seven. The smallfolk talk of him in the same way they talk of
Serwyn of the Mirror Shield and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight. What do you
imagine they’ll think when they see Barristan the Bold riding beside Robb Stark
or Stannis Baratheon?”
    Cersei glanced away. “I had not considered that.”
    â€œFather did,” said Tyrion. “
That
is why he sent me. To put an end
to these follies and bring your son to heel.”
    â€œJoff will be no more tractable for you than for me.”
    â€œHe might.”
    â€œWhy should he?”
    â€œHe knows
you
would never hurt him.”
    Cersei’s eyes narrowed. “If you believe I’d ever allow you to harm my
son, you’re sick with fever.”
    Tyrion sighed. She’d missed the point, as she did so often. “Joffrey is as
safe with me as he is with you,” he assured her, “but so long as the boy
feels
threatened, he’ll be more inclined to listen.” He took her
hand. “I
am
your brother, you know. You need me, whether you care to
admit it or no. Your son needs me, if he’s to have a hope of retaining that
ugly iron chair.”
    His sister seemed shocked that he would touch her. “You have always been
cunning.”
    â€œIn my own small way.” He grinned.
    â€œIt may be worth the trying . . . but make no mistake, Tyrion.
If I accept you, you shall be the King’s Hand in name, but
my
Hand in
truth. You will share all your plans and intentions with me before you act, and
you will do
nothing
without my consent. Do you
understand?”
    â€œOh, yes.”
    â€œDo you agree?”
    â€œCertainly,” he lied. “I am yours, sister.”
For as long as I need to
be.
“So, now that we are of one purpose, we ought have no more secrets
between us. You say Joffrey had Lord Eddard killed, Varys dismissed Ser
Barristan, and Littlefinger gifted us with Lord Slynt. Who murdered Jon
Arryn?”
    Cersei yanked her hand back. “How should I know?”
    â€œThe grieving widow in the Eyrie seems to think it was me. Where did she come
by that notion, I wonder?”
    â€œI’m sure I don’t know. That fool Eddard Stark accused me of the same
thing. He hinted that Lord Arryn suspected or . . . well,
believed . . .”
    â€œThat you were fucking our sweet Jaime?”
    She slapped him.
    â€œDid you think I was as blind as Father?” Tyrion rubbed his cheek. “Who you
lie with is no matter to me . . . although it doesn’t seem
quite just that you should open your legs for one brother and not the
other.”
    She slapped him.
    â€œBe gentle, Cersei, I’m only jesting with you. If truth be told, I’d sooner
have a nice whore. I never understood what Jaime saw in you, apart from his own
reflection.”
    She slapped him.
    His cheeks were red and burning, yet he smiled. “If you keep doing that, I may
get angry.”
    That stayed her hand. “Why should I care if you do?”
    â€œI have some new friends,” Tyrion confessed. “You won’t like them at all.
How did you kill Robert?”
    â€œHe did that himself. All we did was help. When Lancel saw that Robert was
going after boar, he gave him strongwine. His favorite sour red, but fortified,
three times as potent as he was used to. The great stinking fool loved it. He
could have stopped swilling it down anytime he cared to, but no, he drained one
skin and told Lancel to fetch another. The boar did the rest. You should have
been at the feast, Tyrion. There has never been a

boar so delicious. They cooked it with mushrooms and apples, and it tasted like
triumph.”
    â€œTruly, sister, you were born to be a widow.” Tyrion had rather liked Robert
Baratheon, great blustering oaf that he was . . . doubtless in
part because his sister loathed him so. “Now, if you are done slapping me, I
will be off.” He