A Gentleman's Secret ~ The third novelette from "Different Desire", a Gay Victorian Romance and Erotic novelette collection

the window on the eve of the burglary. I tried to copy him, and I thought I heard him laugh softly, as I opened my mouth a little, eager to let his tongue find mine. It was such a small gesture ; however , it had a remarkable effect on me. A small moan escaped my lips , and I could feel myself grow harder. In response , he pulled me closer , and I did not try to stop him. In fact, when he started to pull off my nightshirt, I even helped him willingly, although I found it rather unfair that I should be sitting naked in my bed with only the bed sheet to cover my growing desire.
    However, all thoughts abandoned me as his hands started to travel all over my body. The sensation of that much physical contact made me almost giddy , and the smell of him was intoxicating. Some small part of me informed me that I should feel repulsed and that what I was doing was perfectly horrible and extremely sinful. Perhaps it was the effect of the opium drops, but his hands and lips did not feel wrong. In fact, it felt quite the opposite; it felt rather nice and very good and right. Should I be upset about this, that he is a man and managed to awaken certain appetites inside me? I wondered, distracted. Perchance.
    But then again, Simon was so different. He was a man, ten years younger than I and, on top of that, a criminal! He was more or less a different species, from a different world. A world where apparently love and lust between men were not as prohibited and wrong as it was in my world. He was a thief and an outlaw; of course, he did not care about what the law may say about physical engagement between men, why should he? But perhaps I should? I had been raised strictly , and I had never done anything wrong in my entire life, not even childhood pranks. And therefore, letting him having his way and d o whatever he wanted with me was exhilarating in so many different ways , I though t and kissed him back, deeply this time. His hands had travelled over my shoulders , my back, and down my waist. I was breathless and too aroused now to be shy anymore. I felt that my face was flustered , and my lips felt uncommonly tender after his kisses , with his short stubble . It was useless to resist my desire for him any longer ; I was drawn to him helplessly , like a moth is drawn to the open flame and its doom.
    “Touch me,” he said suddenly with a thick voice , and he took my wrist in his hand and guided my hand towards his manhood. The coarse layer of his worn trousers could not hide his waiting erection . I admit I was a little bit shocked at first to touch him like this, but my fingers could not help themselves; curiously, they investigated this newfound territory. I stroked his hardness, while I watched him closely to see how he would react. I saw him close his eyes and sigh with satisfaction, as he moved gently against my touch in a rhythmical fashion. It made me uncommonly bold, and I let both of my hands stroke his full hardness . My pale fingers looked odd against his worn, brown linen trousers. However, there was something about the way he reacted to my touch that was strangely exciting and rewarding at the same time . He truly enjoys my touch , I realized , which made my own yearning increase rapidly. A nd perhaps I should have been upset when he , with a practised motion, started to undo his trousers and then gently pulled me down on my knees in front of him on the floor next to the bed, but I was not.
     
    *
     
    I could not deny myself any further, so I did what I had wanted to do all along, ever since I first saw him: I pushed him down on his knees on the floor. He looked a little surprised when I pulled down my trousers , and I suddenly understood that he was not sure of what I wanted him to do. Could he really be completely innocent after all? I wondered in disbelief.
    “Kiss it, gently ,” I suggested, making it neither an order nor a question.
    I speculated vaguely whether I was taking advantage of him and how much he was affected by the laudanum. Regrettably, my moral standards are rather low as it is, and there was no way I would have stopped him now. His pupils were dilated, and he moved a little bit slowly, but that seemed to be the only effect from the opium drops.
    Still, he never hesitated , and he leaned forward, his fingers strok ing me lightly and gently, and oh , so very gently, did he take the top of my erection in his mouth, while he watched for my reaction. I did not have to exaggerate my response, I moaned