A Lonely Resurrection

government says you can? Or you drop a bomb from thirty thousand feet to kill the bad guys, you bury women and children under the rubble of their own homes in the process, but you’re not bothered because you didn’t actually have to see the damage, that’s moral? I don’t hide behind mortar range, or behind the cartoon image in the thermal scope of a sniper’s rifle, or behind the medals they give you afterward to reassure you the slaughter was just. All that shit is an illusion, a soporific fed to killers to anesthetize them after they’ve killed. What I do is no worse than what goes on all over the world, what has always gone on. The difference is, I’m honest about it.”
    I was quiet for a while, thinking.
    “And how about a little slack?” I said. “Her old man was set to check out from lung cancer anyway, in a lot more pain than what I caused him. Whatever happened to ‘no harm, no foul’? I mean, I practically did him a favor. Hell, in some cultures what I did wouldn’t be looked at as much more than euthanasia. She almost ought to thank me for it.”
    Things had been okay for me in Osaka, reasonably okay. Looking back, I felt like it had all been falling apart since Tatsu had showed up.
    I thought about taking him out. There were a dozen reasons why I didn’t want to. The problem was, he was beginning to act like he knew I didn’t want to, and that wasn’t good.
    I needed to get back to Osaka, finish my preparations as quickly as I could, and go. Tatsu could handle himself. Harry was hopeless. Midori knew what she’d come here to learn. Naomi was sweet, but she’d served her purpose.
    I stood. My legs had stiffened on the cool ground and I massaged some blood back into them. I bowed to my father’s grave, then stood looking at it for a long time.
    “Jaa,”
I said finally. Then:
“Arigatou.”
    I turned and walked out.

CHAPTER 15
    T he next morning, I went out to a payphone and called Harry. He’d done a lot for me over the years and I felt bad about the way we’d parted. I knew he’d be bothered by it, and that bothered me.
    An unfamiliar male voice answered his phone.
“Moshi moshi?”
    “Moshi moshi,”
I said, my brow furrowing.
“Haruyoshi-san irasshaimasu ka?”
Is Haruyoshi there?
    There was a pause. “Are you a friend of Haruyoshi’s?” the voice asked in Japanese.
    “I am. Is everything all right?”
    “This is Haruyoshi’s uncle. I regret to inform you that Haruyoshi passed away last night.”
    I gripped the phone tightly and closed my eyes. I thought of the last thing he’d said to me:
Look, I’m going to see her tonight. I’ll watch more closely. I’ll keep in mind what you’ve said.
    He’d gone to see her, all right. But he hadn’t kept anything in mind.
    “Forgive me for asking,” I said, my eyes still closed, “but can you tell me how he passed away?”
    There was another pause. “It seems Haruyoshi had drunk a bit too much, and had gone up to the roof of his building for a walk. Apparently he came too close to the edge and lost his balance.”
    I gripped the phone harder. I’d never known Harry to drink. Certainly not excessively. Though I knew he might try all sorts of new things if Yukiko were there to urge him on.
    “Thank you for informing me,” I said to the voice. “Please accept my deepest condolences on this sad occasion. Please convey these sentiments to Harry’s parents. I will say a prayer for his spirit.”
    “Thank you,” the voice said.
    I put the phone back in its cradle.
    My gut told me what I’d just heard had been legitimate. Still, I called the police box in his neighborhood to make sure. I told the cop who answered I was a friend of a Haruyoshi Fukasawa, I’d heard there had been bad news. The cop confirmed that Harry was dead. A fall. Apparently an accident. He told me he was sorry. I thanked him and hung up.
    I stood there for a moment, feeling miserable and alone.
    They’d gotten what they wanted from him. They were tying up loose ends.
    Well, there was nothing I could do for him now. I’d tried to help him when it mattered. Now it was too late.
    In some ways it was my fault. I’d known Yukiko was dangerous to him, but all I did was tell him about my suspicions. What I should have done was said nothing to him, and just made her have a little accident. Harry would have grieved, but he’d still be alive.
    I realized I was grinding my teeth and made myself stop.
    I thought of how happy he’d been when he’d first