A Song for Julia

right into the family. It’s the same with Tony, really. Ever since his divorce, he spends all his holidays here.”
    “Jack’s a wonderful guy.”
    She blinked her eyes, looking at her husband. “He is. He’s the most generous man I’ve ever known.”
    She gave me an appraising look. Something about it made me feel naked. “May I ask you a question?”
    “Of course,” I replied. What I really meant to say was, No. Please don’t.
    “Are you and Dougal … are you serious?” She was openly studying me now.
    I took a deep breath, looking back at her. “I don’t know.”
    She gave me a faint smile, but I could tell she wasn’t terribly pleased with the answer. “Well … that’s honest.”
    “I think it’s too soon to tell,” I said. I didn’t like this line of questioning. I didn’t even know how I felt about Crank. How was I supposed to explain that to her?
    She nodded. “I understand. All I’m going to say is … my son has had a tough life in some ways. He’s a very strong young man, but that strength comes from being hurt. Badly.”
    I nodded and kept listening.
    “Anyway,” she said, looking down at her hands. She was holding them together, moving them restlessly, as if she were unsure of herself. “It’s none of my business. But I’m hoping you won’t … I’m hoping you won’t hurt my son. You seem like a nice girl, and he’s never brought anyone around before. I think he may be more serious about you than you are about him. And that worries me.”
    I looked at Margot. I didn’t want to make an enemy of this woman, or offend her. My heart ached for what she’d gone through. But I needed to set some boundaries, and quickly. I liked her, but whatever was happening between Crank and me, it was between us.
    I sat up straight, put one hand in the other. In a gentle tone, but a firm one, I said, “I understand your concern. But … I can’t help you with this. This is new for both of us, and it’s going to go where it goes … and that’s between us. I hope you understand.”
    Her face adjusted into a fake smile, and she started to say something, but I kept going. “I won’t ever intentionally hurt him. But neither of us exactly has a good history when it comes to relationships.”
    “Maybe you should consider slowing down,” she said, meeting my eyes.
    I shook my head and said something I shouldn’t have, “You’re right. It’s none of your business.”
    She froze in place, her smile fixed automatically, like a mask she’d slipped on for the party.
    I tried to soften the blow of what I’d said. “Margot—I care about him a great deal. Can we just leave it at that? Please?”
    “I suppose that’s fair,” she replied.
    I looked at my watch, tangled on my wrists with my bracelets. “It’s getting close to time for us to go.”
    Her eyes narrowed, and she reached out and touched my watch. And I felt a sinking feeling. The watch was delicate, on a thin chain which I’d had extended when I was sixteen and it didn’t fit any more.
    Her fingers touched the chain, then trailed down to the scars on my wrist, the edges just showing from underneath the bracelets. Then her eyes jumped to mine, and she said, “I’m sorry if I’ve judged too soon.”
    I almost got up and ran. I almost asked her, how dare she? But I didn’t. I just sighed and said, “Sometimes things aren’t what they appear. We all have hurts that we don’t show.”
    She bit her lip and nodded. Then she said something that surprised me. “I think we should get to know each other better. Maybe we can meet for lunch sometime?”
    I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to know Margot any better. It was one thing to sit here, with everyone laughing and happy and part of a big adopted family that Jack had put together. It was another thing entirely to open up to a woman who had the gulf of pain that Margot carried around. I didn’t want to open up to her, or tell her anything at all about me. I wanted to run. I wanted to tell her to go to hell and mind her own business. But I didn’t. Instead, I lied and said, “I’d like that.”
    So we exchanged numbers, and then I stood, and said to Crank, “It’s almost time.”
    He grinned at me, that boyish, sideways grin that made my heart melt every time I saw it. And just because of that, everything was okay.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

    Blue Ginger (Crank)
    You’re not really going to wear that are you?
    When Julia asked me the question, I looked down at