A Strong Hand

it."
    Damian looked down at his beautiful boy, more relaxed than he'd ever seen him. Of course, he thought humorously, I'm not terrifying him right now . "I don't think we've ever talked this much before."
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    Nick laughed. "I think I pissed you off too much before, always dropping stuff and falling over your equipment. How come you didn't fire me?"
    "There was something about you, Nicky, always something that spoke to me," Damian said.
    "You mean, you knew that I was ... am submissive ... right from the start?" Nick asked uneasily.
    "No, of course not, although you were kind of a brat,"
    Damian chuckled. "Are you embarrassed about wanting to submit to me?"
    "Not when we're alone, but I don't think I'd want anyone else to know," Nick said hesitantly.
    "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Nicky. It takes a strong man to surrender to another person," Damian said, stroking the thick glossy hair. "You should be proud that you're brave enough to claim your desires instead of cowering in fear."
    "You don't think it's weird, what we do?"
    "Human behavior comes on a spectrum. We're just a little more towards one end than most people," Damian said. "Like being gay, we're a minority. But we're not hurting anyone—"
    "Other than me," Nick joked.
    Damian laughed. "You're always surprising me."
    "You always surprise me ," Nick claimed. "That's part of what's so ... so exciting."
    "Believe me, I can tell you're going to keep me on my toes," Damian said ruefully and an awkward silence fell between them when he realized that his comment intimated that they had a future together.
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    "I hope to," Nick said quietly, turning his face away so that Damian couldn't see his eyes.
    Damian rushed into speech, saying "Even if you decide you would prefer not to continue with the spanking, I think I would always end up dominating you in bed. It's just how I am. And I think it feels natural for you to let me take the lead."
    "Yeah, it does, but...."
    "But?"
    "I liked what you said about this being a collaboration,"
    Nick said, not sure he was quite expressing what he felt.
    "It's a partnership. I could do nothing to you without your permission." Damian stopped short, realizing he had almost addressed Nick as "my love." Pet wasn't appropriate in this situation and baby felt too casual. But he wasn't ready yet to declare himself; he needed a little time to know his own heart.
    "That's good to know," Nick said thoughtfully. He picked up the remote and started flipping through the channels on TV.
    Damian wondered if Nick just didn't want to talk about it anymore, even though the conversation felt unfinished to him. "What the hell are we watching?"
    Nick set the remote down out of Damian's reach. " Laura ."
    Damian peered at the screen doubtfully. "It's a chick flick."
    "It's a noir classic!" Nick declared. "It's fabulous!"
    "Fabulous is such a gay word, and it's still a chick flick."
    "Guess it proves I'm gay after all then, doesn't it?" Nick grinned.
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    "No one just turns gay overnight." Damian didn't know quite what he was hoping Nick would say in answer to that.
    "Did you ever date a guy before?"
    "Never really thought about it," Nick admitted. "I went out with a lot of girls, but I never saw stars, you know. Sex was fine, it was pleasant—"
    "Pleasant?" Damian groaned. "That's tragic. Sex should be amazing, stupendous, earth-shaking—"
    "Well, I didn't know any better." Nick paused to think for a moment. "Somehow it never worked out with any of them either. And some of them were nice girls."
    "Beautiful?" Damian teased.
    "I nailed my share," Nick said crassly. "But I never felt that sense of connection, like I wanted to be around them all the time."
    Damian was too afraid to ask if it was different with him.
    He acknowledged his own cowardice with a rueful smile, but he didn't want to hear it if the answer was no. "What do you think your parents would say?"
    "As long as I'm not risking my life, they'll be fine," Nick said. "Funny how a major life-threatening accident can put things in perspective."
    "That's true. I'm sure they'd rather have you gay than not at all." Very casually, Damian asked, "Any regrets about all this?"
    A slow smile spread over Nick's face. He pulled Damian down for a kiss. "What do you think?" he whispered against Damian's lips.
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    As their tongues met, all thought fled from Damian's mind and he