A Very Special Delivery

windowpane. A sense of doom as dark as the street outside descended.
    “Laney and I are a package deal. You knew that from the start.”
    “Yes, I did. And that’s the way it should be. I’m sorry.”
    “But you love me.” He ground his teeth in frustration.
    She loved him but not his kid. He’d heard that before.
    “I do love you. And I love Laney.” She sucked in a deep breath, and he braced himself knowing instinctively that the worst was yet to come. “That’s why we have to end this now before it’s too late.”
    She loved him. She loved Laney. But she was willing to give them both up. And why? Because of fear? Because she was afraid Laney would die in her care?
    He slammed a fist against the window facing. “This is crazy, Molly. It makes no sense.”
    “It does to me.”
    “Don’t make a decision tonight while you’re upset. Take some time. Pray about it.”
    “I already have. And look what happened.”
    She was starting to tick him off. “God didn’t cause that baby to choke, and He doesn’t cause your panic attacks.”
    “Do you think you have the answer to everything? If God cared—” She stopped, ending with a sob.
    Ethan reined in his emotions. Going off half-cocked could only cause more trouble. He had the scars to prove it.
    With intentional gentleness, he said, “Blaming God won’t solve anything.”
    “I’m not blaming God.”
    “Aren’t you?”
    “I don’t know what you mean. You’re the one not making sense now.”
    “You think God has let you down, first when Zack died and then when your family turned against you. Now you think he’s done it again. But He didn’t. He sent Laney and me along to make things better, not worse. You have to trust that everything will work out for the best.”
    Ethan wasn’t sure where the ideas came from, but he knew he had hit the nail on the head. Somewhere in all the tragedy Molly had lost her trust in God’s ultimate goodness.
    Her end of the phone hummed with silence. Finally, she whispered, “I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
    “Then let me tell you. Believe that I love you. Believe that God loves you. And together the three of us can work through any problems we encounter. Nothing’s too big for God. I’m living proof of that.”
    “I can’t take the chance again, Ethan.” Her voice was small and lonely. “Look what happened.”
    “Avoiding the problem is not rational. And it won’t fix things.”
    “It’s the only way I know how to cope.”
    He was starting to get desperate here. Really desperate.
    “That’s not coping. That’s hiding. Existing in a tiny realm of perceived safety, terrified of seeing a baby or your sister or anything that might trigger an attack.”
    He couldn’t believe this was happening. Not again. Another woman tossing him aside like yesterday’s hamburger wrapper. Only this time he loved that woman and she loved him. And she loved Laney, too, so much that she feared harming her.
    His palms grew damp against the telephone. “Don’t do this, Molly.” He wasn’t too proud to beg. “Don’t throw away something beautiful and right.”
    “It’s over, Ethan. I’m sorry.” Sobs broke free. “So sorry.”
    And the line went dead in his ear.
    * * *
    Ethan sat in the darkened living room for hours staring at the wall and watching the occasional sweep of car lights beam in from the parking lot. The refrigerator kicked on. The ice maker dumped. Once, Laney whimpered in her sleep.
    He wanted to do the same. Whimper like a kicked dog, then go to sleep and pray that tonight was all a bad dream.
    No matter how he examined the situation with Molly, he came away without an answer. He rubbed a hand over his chest. It hurt.
    After the ordeal with Twila he’d vowed to be smarter about women.
    He gave a huff of self-reproach. There was his answer plain as day.
    As cruel as she’d been, the woman in the parking lot after the sunrise service had been right. A man with his tainted past had no business falling in love with a nice girl like Molly.
    If he’d listened to his common sense, none of this would have happened.
    He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. All the common sense in the world wouldn’t change one thing. He loved Molly. Being with her energized him and gave him hope for a better future. She was the other half of his heart. Giving her up without a fight was out of the question.
    But was it unfair to pursue her? Was God trying to tell him that he was wrong for