Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

I stopped caring about my writing, and started caring about everything else: The kids. The marriage. The mortgage. The store. I seethed at the sight of locals shopping at the CVS down the street. I bought a computer to help track inventory. Mostly, I looked for new ways to bring people through the door. When the used bookstore in Red Hook closed, I bought some of their stock and put a lending shelf in the back. Raffles. Clearance sales. Wi-Fi. Anything to get them through that door. Every year I tried something new. And every year, we barely scraped by.
Henry * had been coming for a year or so before we got around to talking. We’d exchanged the expected pleasantries; nothing more. “Have a good one.” “See you next time.” I only knew his name because I’d heard it through the Market Street grapevine. The story was he’d bought one of the bigger places off of Route 9G, and had an army of local handymen sprucing it up. He was a little younger than me—maybe twenty-seven or so, with messy dark hair, a year-round tan, and a different pair of sunglasses for every occasion. I could tell he was money. His clothes screamed it: vintage T-shirts, wool blazers, jeans that cost more than my car. But he wasn’t like the other money that came in. The asshole weekenders who liked to gush about our “cute” little town and our “adorable” little store, walking right past our No Food or Drink Please sign with their oversize cups of hazelnut coffee, and never spending a dime. Henry was courteous. Quiet. Best of all, he never left without dropping less than fifty bucks—most of it on the throwbacks you can only pick up in specialty stores these days—bars of Lifebuoy, tins of Angelus Shoe Wax. He came in, paid cash, and left. Have a good one. See you next time. And then, one day in the fall of 2007, I looked up from my spiral notebook and there he was. Standing on the other side of the counter—staring at me like I’d just said something revolting.
“Why did you abandon it?”
“I… I’m sorry?”
Henry motioned to the notebook in front of me. I always kept one by the register, in the event that any brilliant ideas or observations popped in (they never did, but semper fi, you know?). Over the last four hours, I’d jotted half a page of one-line story ideas, none of which warranted a second line. The bottom half of the page had descended into a doodle of a tiny man giving the middle finger to a giant, angry eagle with razor-sharp talons. Beneath it, the caption: To Mock a Killing Bird. Sadly, this was the best idea I’d had in weeks.
“Your writing. I was curious as to why you abandoned it.”
Now it was me staring at him. For whatever reason, I was suddenly struck by the thought of a man carrying a flashlight—rifling through the cobwebbed shelves of a dark warehouse. It wasn’t a pleasant thought.
“Sorry, but I don’t—”
“Understand, no. No, I apologize. It was rude of me to interrupt you.”
Jesus… now I felt compelled to apologize for his apology.
“Not at all. It’s just… what gave you—”
“You seemed like someone who writes.”
He pointed to the lending shelf in the back.
“You obviously have an appreciation for books. I see you writing here from time to time… I assumed it was a passion. I was just curious as to why you hadn’t pursued it.”
Reasonable. A little pompous (what, just because I’m working in a five-and-dime, I’m not pursuing my passion?), but reasonable enough to let some of the air back into the room. I gave him the honest, depressingly typical answer, which amounted to “life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” That led to a discussion about John Lennon, which led to a discussion about The Beatles, which led to a discussion about Yoko Ono, which led nowhere. We talked. I asked him how he liked the area. How his house was coming. What kind of work he did. He gave me satisfactory answers to all of these. But even as he did—even as we stood there chatting politely, just a couple of young guys shooting the breeze—I couldn’t avoid the feeling that there was another conversation going on. A conversation that I wasn’t participating in. I could feel Henry’s questions becoming increasingly personal. I could feel my answers doing the same. He asked about my wife. My kids. My writing. He asked about my parents. My regrets. I answered them all. I knew it was strange. I didn’t care. I wanted to tell him. This young, rich guy with messy