Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

nomination for senator
June 16th, 1858

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
I
In the predawn hours of February 23rd, 1861, a tall, cloaked figure was rushed onto the platform of the Baltimore & Ohio Railroad Depot before his train had even come to a stop, ten hours before anyone expected him to arrive. His feet seldom touched the ground as a mass of armed men hurried him into a waiting coach, which sped off as soon as its reinforced door had clicked shut. Inside, two bodyguards joined him behind the black curtains, their revolvers at the ready as if they expected the night to be shattered by gunfire at any moment. Outside, a third man sat next to the driver, his black eyes peering into the dark streets of Washington, D.C., looking for any sign of danger ahead. There were more of his kind waiting at the hotel, making sure no one entered without their knowledge and blessing; making sure their precious cargo was delivered safely to his bed. There was even a man stationed on the roof of the building across the way, looking for anyone who might try to crawl down the facade and enter through a window.
Henry Sturges had insisted on this unprecedented level of security—and his insistence had proven wise….
For President Elect Abraham Lincoln had just survived his first assassination attempt.
In late 1857, not long after his return from that fateful meeting in New York, Abe announced that he would run against Stephen Douglas for the Senate. Unbeknownst to his supporters, this announcement had been preceded by the arrival of a letter:
Abraham,
As you guessed in your letter of September 13th, we must ask you to oppose Mr. Douglas. The Senator, as you no doubt suspect, is one of the many living men who have fallen prey to our enemy’s influence. Do not concern yourself with the outcome of this election—rather, use your particular passion and oratory skill to combat slavery at every turn. We will see to it that the results are favorable to our cause. Trust in yourself, Abraham. Never forget that this is your purpose.
Ever,
—H
P.S. Matthew 12:25 *
Abe accepted the Republican Party’s nomination for Senate on June 16th, 1858, with what would be known as his “House Divided” speech. In it, he accused Senator Douglas of being part of the “machinery” designed to spread slavery to all of America. Without any mention of vampires, Abe alluded to the “strange, discordant, and even hostile elements” that had come together to fight a “proud and pampered enemy” to the south.
Between August 21st and October 15th, he and Douglas held a series of seven debates throughout Illinois, some attended by as many as 10,000 onlookers. They became an instant sensation, thrusting both men onto the national stage as transcripts of their battle appeared in newspapers throughout the country. For his part, Douglas tried to paint Abe as a radical abolitionist. He excelled at whipping the crowd into a frenzy with images of freed slaves flocking to Illinois; of black settlements springing up in white backyards; of black men marrying white women.
If you desire [blacks] to vote on an equality with yourselves, and to make them eligible to office, to serve on juries, and to adjudge your rights, then support Mr. Lincoln and the Black Republican party, who are in favor of the citizenship of the Negro!
Abe struck back at Douglas’s doom and gloom with a simple moral truth—one that he owed (whether he would admit it or not) to his father’s Baptist upbringing.
I agree with Judge Douglas—[the black man] is not my equal in many respects—certainly not in color, perhaps not in moral or intellectual endowment. But in the right to eat the bread, without the leave of anybody else, which his own hand earns, he is my equal and the equal of Judge Douglas, and the equal of every living man.
FIG. 29 - A MAN AND WOMAN (LIKELY VAMPIRES) POSE OUTSIDE A SLAVE AUCTION COMPANY IN ATLANTA, GEORGIA SHORTLY BEFORE THE CIVIL WAR.
Still, Abe was frustrated by his inability to get at the real issue—the fact that Douglas was the servant of creatures who would see all of mankind in chains. * Following a debate in Charleston, Illinois, Abe vented this frustration in his journal.
More signs in the crowd today. “Negro Equality Is Immoral!” “America for Whites!” I look out at these crowds… at these fools. These fools who haven’t the slightest idea how to live the morals they espouse. These fools who proclaim themselves men of God, yet show not the slightest