After the Fall
‘home’ to me, you know?”
“Nowhere?”
“Nowhere.” He absently ran his fingers up and down my arm. “On one hand, I think I could be happy just following the blacktop until I’m too old to keep going. On the other, part of me thinks I’m trying to find something, and I haven’t found it yet.”
“What are you trying to find?”
Eyes fixed on the sky above us, Ryan shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess I figure when I find it, I’ll know.”
“And if you never do?”
Another shrug. “Then I will have spent my life doing a lot of cool shit and seeing a lot of cool things. And I’ve met some pretty amazing people along the way.”
He turned toward me, so I mirrored him as best I could, and we were facing each other in the darkness. Though I could barely see him in the low light, I could feel the way he was looking at me. And the way I was looking at him. There was something between us right then, some unspoken thing waiting in the corners and in the shadows for one of us to bring out into the light. It was terrifyingly familiar, and at the same time, intriguingly alien. Like a word on the tip of my tongue that I couldn’t quite bring to life, but I’d know it the instant I heard it.
Secretly, I hoped he’d be the one to break down and say it so we could give it a name. So I’d know what the hell I was feeling, and that he felt it too.
At the same time, I was afraid he would be the one to say it. That he’d breathe life into it, and we wouldn’t be able to pretend it didn’t exist and things wouldn’t stay the same.
He pushed himself up onto his elbow. “This wasn’t . . . this wasn’t why I brought you up here, but . . .”
“Better than chopping me up.”
Ryan laughed. “I guess it is, isn’t it?” The darkness between us shrank, and his lips were soft and cool against mine.
Some guys were all cologne and cleanliness, but right now, Ryan was dust and leather and sweat and motor oil, nothing clean about him but purely masculine and, in some way I couldn’t define, erotic. Like he was the sum total of everything that was raw and sexy, and I wanted nothing more than to get high off him. He teased my lips apart, and when I opened for him, he slipped his tongue past mine.
Then his hand drifted over the front of my shorts. I shivered, gripping his shoulder with my good hand as he squeezed me through my clothes.
“Fuck.” I bit my lip and arched my back. “This . . . this why you brought me out here?”
“No.” He kissed me as he started drawing down my zipper. “But now that we’re here, it seems like a good idea.”
“Yeah, it’s . . . it’s good. Keep . . .” My ability to speak vanished entirely as his warm fingers met my cock.
When he closed his hand and started stroking, I tried to thrust up against him, but the weight of my cast kept me pinned. I was completely helpless. Completely immobile and at his mercy with nowhere to go and no one to hear a thing, and that should have terrified me, but it didn’t. I surrendered to it. Surrendered to him .
My hips moved of their own accord, pushing back against him as much my cast allowed, and the pressure and the friction and his goddamned kiss were too intense. I broke the kiss with a gasp. I swore. Thought I swore.
And suddenly the air above my lips was cool. Too cool. But before I could make sense of it, Ryan’s mouth was on my cock, and I lost it, and they probably heard me clear back in Tucker Springs as I came.
He was over me again, grinning, and I dragged him down into a kiss. Tasting myself on his tongue, feeling his weight on top of me, my whole body still tingling from that orgasm . . . I hadn’t felt this amazing in a long, long time.
“You know, when you get these casts off,” he said between kisses, “there’s all kinds of things we could get away with back at the barn.”
Because that was what I needed: another reason to want him to fuck me senseless immediately . “You offering a literal roll in the hay?”
“Hmm, well, not the hay, but . . .” He kissed me hard. “I could see myself fucking you up against the tack room wall.”
“Oh. God.”
“That would be hot, wouldn’t it? Especially if there were—” He released a hot breath across my skin. “—people around.”
“You dirty bastard,” I growled.
“Damn right. But that all has to wait until your casts come off.” He lifted up so I could see his face in the low light. “Do you want to stay at my place
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