Again (Brandy Jeffus)

whispered quietly. Her heart felt lighter, her burdens smaller than they had previously been.
    She knew that life would forever be changed. Now she was going to be a part of a broken family and she would have to be strong not only for her mom but for Tatum as well. They would grieve in their own little ways, but life would go on. It always did.
    Chapter Three
    The next week, Eli agreed to take shifts staying with my mom the following week. Her doctors had said she needed to be in the hospital for another week for labs and tests to rule out any other internal problems.
    After that, she would be able to go home, and Tatum’s leave was up. Amber, Mick’s assistant, texted me the previous day promising to send my stuff back soon and see if the flowers she ordered had arrived.
    Tatum eased the tension whenever Eli and I were together. She would ask questions that were in neutral territory, like about his parents, his job, our old friends. She would bring me into the conversations and eventually Eli and I were the ones talking.
    Tatum has always been the negotiator in our family. She is quick, smart and always knew how to disarm any negative situation.
    It was becoming manageable to be around Eli. It wasn't the same like the past, but he didn’t make me get sick anymore. He came to the hospital every day after his shift was over. On his days off he would spend the whole day with us.
    Since she was being released in a few days, Mama asks if we could retrieve an outfit from her house. There had been other runs to the house, but Tatum and Eli were the ones to go. Their relationship had quickly gone back to the same as it was six years ago. He always adored Tatum as his own little sister, no matter how annoying she could be.
    This time, Tatum was in the cafeteria getting a snack and it was just Eli and I in the room. He always did the driving since it was his car, but wasn't comfortable going into Mama's house by himself and getting her personal belongings.
    "Mother, do you need it right this minute?" I ask with an attitude. Being alone with Eli does not seem appealing. It’s uncomfortable territory. I’m okay with Tatum there, but I hadn't been alone with him at all. Just the thought of it sends me into a panic. My heartbeat speeds up and my palms become slick with sweat.
    "Why, actually I do. And I don't care too much for that attitude, either. Do you think I like being laid up like this? That I’m unable to do my own errands? Well I don't. And I don’t like having a daughter that have major attitude problems like you," Mama says, her voice wavering.
    A tremendous wave of guilt washes over me and I apologize immediately. Today was a hard day, pain management wise. I immediately feel like a big brat.
    "Come on," I tap Eli on the shoulder. He smiles, and follows suit. We walk silently through the parking lot to his car.
    There is a deafening silence in the car as we ride. I stare out the window, lost in my own thoughts when Eli finally speaks, “She really knows how to make you feel like shit.”
    “Ha! No kidding!” I exclaim, “She’s the best at putting things in perspective for you.” Eli nods in agreement. We pull up to the house and go inside. Eli follows behind me into Mama’s room.
    “You know, that night of her accident, all she could talk about was how stupid I was for what I did,” Eli whispers at the doorway of Mama’s room. I stop rummaging in the closet and stare at him. Here it is, the moment we had been dodging since the first day coming face to face.
    “No, she didn’t.”
    “Yeah, I’m not lying. She said if she was going to die, she wanted me to know that what I did was wrong and make a promise to try and rectify it,” Eli shakes his head and scoffs sadly, “Made me feel like the biggest piece of shit ever. But like you said, she’s the best at the whole perspective thing.”
    "I'm sorry, Eli. I'm trying."
    "I know you are, B. It's okay," he breathes deep and gives me that crooked smile, "Did you find that outfit?”
    I nod and we leave. Things have just changed, in the smallest way possible.
    **A few days later**
    There’s a soft rap on the door and Eli pokes his head in. I sit up straighter in the chair and wave.
    "Ready for a break?"
    "Don’t you need to change out of your uniform?"
    "No, I’m working later on tonight, taking over a shift for a buddy so I won't bother." He looks worn out and tired.
    "Well that’s no bueno. Sorry."
    He stands there, his head cocked to the side,