Again (Brandy Jeffus)

sitting here for 10 minutes. Their little dates were always short.
    “Well, we finally got signed and we will be heading out on the road to the studio here within the next couple weeks!” Mick grinned wide, showing his excitement.
    “Oh wow, that’s awesome Mick! Congratulations!” Bonnie stood up and hugged his neck. Even though he was drinking a coffee, he still smelled like liquor. She wrinkled her nose in disgust.
    “Well, thanks love, but that’s not it. I wanted to see…” Mick trailed off, reached up and scratched the back of his neck nervously. Bonnie thought it was nice to see him unsure of his self, uneasy about something for once.
    “What? Do you need help packing or something?”
    “Oh no, nothing like that,” Mick quietly chuckled. “But you’re sweet to offer.” Mick grabbed her hand and rubbed her knuckles. “I wanted to know if you wanted to come with us. After we record, we’ll release a debut and then start our tour. I want you to come with me please.”
    Bonnie raised her eyebrow, and her heart jumped into her throat. Thoughts flew throughout her mind at a rapid pace: What about my mom? What about Tatum? I’m supposed to start school soon and intern. And finally her last thought which surprised her, what about Eli?
    Oh Eli, the only thing besides her mother and sister, that had been a constant in her life. He was the only guy in her life who had always been there for her, no matter what. But now he was gone. Betrayed her for one drunken night and broke her heart.
    He had tried to get in touch with her. But she avoided him like the plague. Him and all the memories associated with him only brought her misery. This town had turned into her prison, her memories were her captors.
    Bonnie took a deep breath, took a sip of her drink and smiled brightly. It was time for a change. "I think that would be awesome Mick! Yes I’ll come with you.”
    His thin face broke out in a grin and his gorgeous eyes lit up. Mick leaned over and hugged her tight. She returned his kisses passionately. It was time to really give Mick a shot, be able to give him her heart unabashedly.
    All the while though, Eli’s beautiful face filled her brain. Those dimples, the curls and the velvet touch of his caress. She felt as if she had just handed out the harshest punishment she could for him.
    Her stomach soured as one more thought crossed her mind: What the hell did I just do?
    Chapter Six
    “Are you sure you want to hear this?” Eli sits on the bed with a pained expression on his face. Deep set wrinkles adorn his forehead as his eyebrows pinch together. He had just gotten off work and surprised me with flowers at Mama’s house. A nagging thought has been plaguing me: things would never be okay unless Eli and I got rid of the giant elephant in the room. We had to talk about what happened.
    “Yes, I’m sure. I need to hear this. If we’re going to move on, then this has to happen. I know it sounds stupid, but just please believe me.”
    “It just makes me sick to even think about it Bon, it was a long time ago.”
    “I know it makes me sick too. But if you don’t tell me this will always be a hurdle, an unspoken barrier between us. I can’t deal with that. We don’t need any barriers.”
    Eli stares at me for a long time; his face, a blank canvas. As if he has to completely turn himself off in order to re tell the story. My heart is threatening to lodge in my throat but I breathe deep and force it to steady.
    “After we graduated, I was scared. Everything I had ever known was gone and we were expected to make all these new changes in such a short amount of time. Eddie invited me to that party and I just wanted to have a good time.”
    Eli continues his story, hesitating at certain points, his voice breaking every now and then. My heart silently breaks and my chest feels frozen, but my face remains stoic, unflinching at his story.
    When he finishes, I whisper, “So why did you have to break up with me?”
    “Because I thought I had to. I knew what I did was wrong. For me to do that, I just figured something must have been messed up with me and my loyalty to us.” He pauses and lowers his head. “But I know now that you would have forgiven me. That I didn’t have to break up with you. We could have worked through it. Couldn’t we?” He looks up and I nod in agreement. It was true, I would have forgiven him. We would have pushed through.
    “Did you ever see her again? You know, after we were