Again (Brandy Jeffus)

and it felt so wrong.
    Eli was right about the man’s face in the band’s cover. As always, when I paint I don't really think about what I'm doing. I zone out and just paint or draw. When I finished that cover I gasped when I saw Eli's face looking back at me.
    The heart makes its needs known, sometimes subtly.
    Mrs. Darcy left so we could shop and we went down every isle. We had done a lot of grocery shopping in high school. After the divorce, Mama took on double shifts at the hospital to make up for the lack of income. I became responsible for some household duties, including grocery shopping. Back then it always felt like we were playing grownups, shopping together like I'd seen so many older couples do. Today was no different.
    He seemed more relax now, more laid back. He jokes easily with me, making my stomach cramp from laughing so hard.
    We load our groceries in his truck and head to Mama’s. Coach’s red Jeep is in the driveway. It’s the same one he had in high school.
    I grab some bags and follow Eli up the walk. I recognize Mr. Dean as soon as I see him. He’s older now, but still holds an air of authority about him. He stands up from his spot on the couch and reaches for my bags.
    "Bonnie, how nice to see you again," he looks over to Eli and nods, "Hey Eli, how's work been?"
    “Been good, Coach. I need to meet my ticket quota though here soon.” Both of them laugh and head to the kitchen.
    "You make him watch these corny shows?" I roll my eyes at the cheesy Lifetime movie on TV. I lean down and kiss the top of her head, "I’ve missed so much, huh?"
    Mama looks up and smiles, "That's how life is sweetie. You get grown then you have your own worries and events to keep you company. I never mentioned him because it was never that serious. But I think the accident changed both our point of views."
    "I can see how that can happen. It's put a lot of things in perspective for me that’s for sure. Um, Eli is staying for dinner. He’s gonna make shrimp."
    Mama nods in agreement and I walk into the kitchen and find Eli already cooking. Coach is sitting at the bar with a beer in hand and Eli's open bottle is next to the stove. Apparently, I’ve just interrupted their talk about football.
    My heart starts pounding when Eli smiles at me. The sparks I felt had never died down. And now that we’re back together, they’ve returned. I feel like a giddy teenager as I walk up to him and nestle beside him. His arm rests comfortably behind my back.
    In this instant, I know, we are made for each other.
    "So Bonnie, your mom mentioned you'll staying with her for a while," Mr. Dean says.
    "Yes, sir. Until she's ready for me to leave," I answer politely. "It's nice to be home. I sure have missed it." Coach nods and smiles and takes a long pull from his bottle.
    "If you aren't doing anything this Sunday you and Elijah should come to my church. I've been taking your mom for a while now and she really likes it. It's down on the corner of Main and O'Dell," Coach mentions. I nod, church sounds nice.
    Tatum and I had been raised with church as the center point of our lives for as long as I could remember. Eli went to the same church and that's another reason why we became such close friends.
    I haven't been to church in about five or six years. The thought unnerves me and immediate guilt engulfs my heart. It's not that I had adopted Mick's agnostic views; I still believed in God and Jesus and considered myself a Christian the whole time I was with him. However, the needing and longing for service and reading my Bible had evaded me.
    "Coach, you must be getting old, because I've been going to that church longer than you have!" Eli exclaims. They share a laugh and start talking about football again. I give Eli a quick peck on the cheek and walk into the living room.
    "Mama, can I talk to you in my room?" My voice is barely a whisper. She looks up confused and stands to follow me. She sits down on my bed and I close the door quietly behind me.
    “I slept with him."
    "I know," Mama smirked.
    "Wait, huh? How did you know?"
    "Because I'm your mother, and I can tell. I think it's wonderful. You should ask him to stay the night. Mr. Dean and I were planning on watching movies all night. Your mother has turned into quite the night owl in my age," she winks and stands.
    "Wait, wait, you don't think it's wrong? Or it’s too soon after Mick? You think its okay?"
    "Of course, Bonnie. If it feels right in your heart, then of course