Agatha Raisin and the Love from Hell

James Lacey, remember it’s your duty to contact me.’
    ‘Will he be charged with anything? Leaving the scene of the crime?’
    ‘No, I shouldn’t think so. Not now we’ve got the guilty parties. Megan had no end of luck. What if a chap at the night desk at the Randolph had seen her leave or return? What if Mrs Green had had better eyesight? What if Dewey had not been so weird and distracted our investigations? And Melissa’s sister must be relieved it’s all over. Wilkes became convinced she was the guilty party and those students who lodged with her have been grilled over and over again. Aren’t you going to put that cigarette out – that is, if you really want to stop smoking?’
    ‘Tomorrow,’ said Agatha. ‘I’ll stop tomorrow.’
    ‘That’s addict-speak. If you really wanted to stop, you’d stop now.’
    ‘Will Megan be brought to court?’
    ‘We’ll try, but last heard she was putting on a very good mad act. If she gets a sharp lawyer, she may be considered unfit. Oh, the vacuum cleaner. The stuff inside matches the fibres from Melissa’s carpet. She got rid of the weapon but forgot to empty the vacuum cleaner. Lucky, that.’
    ‘Where on earth did she get a gun? And if she had one, why didn’t she use it on Melissa? I wouldn’t even know where to start buying a gun.’
    ‘Sheppard said she was nervous about your investigations. She probably bought it just before she ransacked your house, he says. She probably would have shot you if you’d arrived home while she was there. And where would she get it? Alas, Birmingham, probably. It’s easy enough if you know where to go. We catch most of the gun dealers, but as soon as we get one, another sets up shop somewhere else.’
    ‘Would you like a coffee or something?’ asked Agatha.
    ‘No, I’ve got to be on my way. But don’t forget. Ma will expect you for Sunday dinner when you get back.’
    ‘Won’t forget,’ said Agatha, planning to think up any lie she could to make sure she never went.

Chapter Eleven
    Agatha did not speak French. Agatha did not speak any language other than English. And she did like to be in control at all times, but realized she would need to rely on Charles to make all the arrangements once they had crossed the Channel.
    Also, she was nervous about driving on the wrong side of the road, whereas Charles was used to it, so he was doing the driving.
    Then Charles insisted on making a detour to Paris first to visit an old friend and Agatha did not feel as if she had any right to object, because it was Charles’s car that was taking the wear and tear of the mileage.
    Besides, not being in charge of things made her feel inadequate. She decided to take French lessons as soon as she got back. Yes, that would be something to do. Forget detective work; never again.
    Getting off the ferry, they queued behind a long line of cars full of families going on holiday. Would they enjoy themselves? wondered Agatha, looking at the rear window of the car in front, where three children appeared to be having an all-out fight. Or would the husband, who was driving, be marking off the days in his mind until he could get back to the peace of his office?
    Agatha, who had travelled quite a lot, reflected it would be wonderful to speak languages, to be able to put down sniggering waiters and insolent hotel staff, who always retreated behind a wall of incomprehension when she shouted at them in English. She had heard jokes about the British abroad who shouted at foreigners as if they were deaf, but somehow she herself could not stop doing it.
    ‘This friend of yours,’ she asked after they had cleared customs, ‘does he know we are coming?’
    ‘It’s a she. And no, I wanted it to be a surprise. I haven’t seen Yvonne in years.’
    ‘Girlfriend?’
    ‘Ex.’
    ‘Maybe you would like to see her on your own?’
    ‘I say, do you think you could amuse yourself for an hour? Want me to drop you off at the Eiffel Tower?’
    ‘I’ve seen the Eiffel Tower. Where does she live?’
    ‘Montmartre. Avenue Junot.’
    ‘I’ll leave you when we get there and go for a walk.’
    ‘All right,’ said Charles. ‘If you keep on walking up the hill after you leave me, you’ll come to the Sacré Coeur. Get a super view of Paris from there.’
    Agatha was glad it was Charles driving and not herself as he threw the car into the maelstrom of traffic which hurtled around Paris.
    When he had parked, she said goodbye to him and headed up the Avenue