Alien Diplomacy

too,” Reader said, as he and Gower joined the impromptu party. “And if anyone’s taking our girl for a threesome, it’s us.”
    Gower nodded. “It’s actually written into our religious laws.”
    “As you noted earlier, Guy, our laws are very liberal,” I added, while I wavered between relief and an even more intense desire to laugh my head off.
    “But,” Reader said airily, “we can’t blame you boys for trying.”
    “We can, however suggest that you not try again,” Chuckie said. “With any of the American Centaurion women. Or men. Or animals.”
    “In case you’re into them, too,” I added, to make sure they were clear. I wasn’t putting anything past Vance and Gadoire.
    “That’s also written into our religious laws,” Gower said.
    “Now,” White said pleasantly. “Be good little boys and run along. Oh, and when you next try to visit our Embassy, please make sure you wear protective gear. The ambassador tends to be jealous.”
    “He’s not jealous about all of you?” Vance gasped out.
    “Nah,” Jeff said, as he came up behind them and took both of them by the tops of their shoulders. “They’re all family, or close enough. You’re not.” With that, he propelled them away from us and into the arms of the same A-Cs who’d taken Eugene and Nathalie away. White and Chuckie let go of me.
    Jeff turned around and shook his head. “I leave you alone for five minutes…”
    “This wasn’t my fault!”
    He grinned. “I know.”
    “You’re not mad?”
    They all laughed. “Jeff was reading you the entire time,” Reader said. “He could barely tell us what was happening he was laughing so hard.”
    “You sure you’re handling the stress well, my dove?” Gower asked.
    “Do the accent,” Chuckie said. “I think that was my favorite part, my leetle flow-aire.”
    “Dudes, he was so totally doing Pepé Le Pew! It was all I could do to contain the Inner Hyena.”
    “We know,” Reader said. “Jeff’d be like, ‘and now he’s acting all protective in that ridiculous fake accent, and I can feel her desperately trying not to laugh.’ ”
    “Though I’m happy the two of you aren’t bi,” Jeff said to Reader and Gower. “Because, believe me, the people getting the positive comparisons were you two.”
    “Oh, you compared favorably, too, you know.”
    Jeff grinned again. “Yeah.” He pulled me over to him and hugged me. “You handled that amazingly well, baby.”
    I hugged him back. “Thanks. And I’m all impressed with the personal growth.”
    He chuckled as he let me out of his embrace. “Don’t expect it to happen every time.”
    “Trust me, I won’t.” I sighed. “I hate to bring us back down to reality, but based on what I’ve gotten so far, someone in my Washington Wife class is or knows the assassination target.”
    “It’s still not enough,” Chuckie said. “Pepé and Smooth Operatoronly confirmed what we’ve already suspected. They didn’t narrow the field down enough.”
    “Vance said he’d told the other guys—Abner, Bryce, and Leslie, even though she’s a girl.”
    Reader shook his head. “Still at square one, girlfriend.”
    “So, no signs of death or destruction?”
    “No,” Chuckie said. “Just the usual crap that goes on at these things. You know, like what you’ve just gone through. Otherwise, it’s been utterly devoid of dangerous activity. I don’t know whether to be relieved or preparing my letter of resignation.”
    I looked around. “Boy, Vance was right, no one’s leaving until after the President talks.” I jerked. “That’s it. Whoever’s going down, our assassins are waiting for when everyone’s paying attention to the President.”
    Gower nodded. “Makes a bigger impression. The music will be off, everyone will be facing the stage.”
    “Normally, those areas are cleared by Secret Service before things start,” Chuckie said.
    “Great. But Titan’s running the security, so even if the Secret Service thinks it’s all clear, it doesn’t mean it actually is .”
    “On it,” Reader said, as he pulled out his phone. “We’ll check the areas that would have a clear shot of the stage.” Chuckie was making calls, too.
    “We need to get to my mom and make sure she has the President stall going on stage.”
    “Won’t he need an excuse?” White asked. “These affairs are normally well orchestrated and timed out down to the minute.”
    “Don’t care. If anyone can make the Pres stall, it’s