Alien Diplomacy

then headed after the boys. Martini Manor was so huge it was easy to catch up to them before they reached the main entryway. And just in time—I got to them as the front doorbell rang.
    “Boys, let’s remember that while we don’t like the senator, we aren’t allowed to act like we’re Al Pacino in Scarface .”
    Both boys shot me betrayed looks. Their expressions shared that, yet again, this kind of “fun” was not something they thought they’d signed up for when joining the exciting ranks of C.I.A. operatives.
    But they soldiered on. Kyle got the door, Len flanking him, just in case Armstrong actually had a carload of mercenaries along for the ride. Of course, I wouldn’t have put it past him, or any of the rest of the Cabal of Evil.
    Amazingly enough, Armstrong was in the doorway, no gun or grenade in sight. He was carrying an expensive-looking attaché case and, as always, had the Senior Senator from Wherever look going strong. Even though we were now in the Diplomatic Corps, I still didn’t pay a lot of attention to politics, but the thought occurred that Armstrong probably had his eye on the White House.
    This unsettling notion got pushed aside as Armstrong strode in. Armstrong wasn’t the issue—his companions were.
    Guy Gadoire followed Armstrong across the threshold, beaming. My mouth fell open. “My darling Missus Martini. You look radiant as always.” He raced over to me as I slammed my jaw shut.
    Gadoire was a lobbyist for the tobacco industry. He spoke in a fake French accent that made him sound like a less appealing Pepé Le Pew. He was also bisexual and had, along with his partner, Vance Beaumont, suggested I share a “bed of love” with them only a few weeks prior. Despite all this, somehow, he was not on my list of Potential Adultery Options.
    “Guy, what are you doing here?”
    “You are surprised to see me, my dove?” He grabbed the hand I hadn’t offered and kissed it. Based on his hand kissing alone, I never wanted this man’s lips near mine. Gadoire was the only man I’d ever met who could make kissing your hand seem completely charmless and unappealing.
    The boys stared at him. They’d heard about him, of course, but this was their first real introduction to Monsieur Love, as I called him in private.
    “Ahhh…” Gadoire tended to make me speechless, though not for the reasons he assumed.
    I heard footsteps behind me and Gadoire’s eyes lit up. I looked over my shoulder to see Amy arriving. She didn’t have Jamie with her. I counted that in the win column.
    Gadoire let go of me and turned the “charm” on Amy. “And who is this lovely vision with you?”
    “I’m Amy Gaultier. Ah, White. Amy Gaultier-White.” Amy and Christopher had gotten married right before Jamie’s teeth arrived and she still wasn’t used to being married, partially because she’d spent more time away from her husband than with him. But, as she said, that’s what you did when your best friends needed you.
    Amy made the mistake of offering her hand. Gadoire snatched it to his lips like he had to kiss hands or die.
    She gave me the “oh, my God this is gross” look, but smiled sweetly at him when he straightened up. “Monsieur Gadoire, I’ve heard so much about you from Kitty.”
    Gadoire winked at me. “I’m sure you have.”
    I managed not to gag. “How’s Vance?” I hadn’t missed anyone from my Washington Wife class while in exile in Florida, but it was polite to ask about someone else’s spouse.
    “He’s well. Looking forward to seeing you again.”
    “Excuse me?”
    No sooner were those words out of my mouth than Vance Beaumont sauntered in. Vance was one of those perfectly put together people the rest of us privately hated. I wasn’t so private in my hatred, but that didn’t stop Vance from grabbing me and giving me a big hug.
    I managed not to go rigid or shove him away, but this wasn’t a typical greeting for the two of us. “Hi, Vance.”
    “Kitty…if there’s anything I can do, I just want you to know I’m here for you.”
    “Huh?”
    Vance put the Frowny Face of Concern on. I didn’t buy it for a New York minute. “We’ll talk about it later.”
    “Talk about what?”
    Armstrong cleared his throat. “Guy and Vance are aware of the…situation I need to discuss with you, Ambassador.” He looked around. “Is there somewhere private we can go to talk?” Hepointedly looked at Amy and the boys, and it was clear he didn’t want them along for whatever