Alien in the Family

sure he’s got a great story for the rest of the solar system’s inhabitants. You know, something like ‘Earth killed all your leaders and diplomats and all the heirs to my throne, so for the good of us all, I’m going to get some superpowers and fix everything.’ So, I assume he wanted to know if we’d figured it out or not as well as keep tabs on us.”
    “Kitler?” Neeraj asked. “Who is that?”
    “Adolphus . . . Hitler . . . King Hitler . . . put them together, it’s Kitler, also known as our Supreme Bad Guy?”
    “Oh. This is more of your humor.” Neeraj didn’t seem amused.
    “So to speak,” Chuckie added.
    “So the Planetary Council is also a target?” Queen Renata asked, possibly to change the subject.
    “You are, Renata. The rest of the gang are all identified as being close to their world leaders, so assume every member of the Planetary Council with us is in danger. Kitler’s agents here on Earth set off the laser light show not to announce a royal wedding but to set Gregory off and into motion. Alexander doing the Royal Messenger thing on the home world helped them, which is why Alexander is still alive. Oh, I’d guess Uma’s in with the Reigning Megalomaniac. The PPB has to filter through a woman to go wherever it’s going to end up, plus someone has to be feeding Gregory ideas. She was too good about focusing all of us on the protocols issue—you will refer to him as My Royal Lord my ass, sort of thing.”
    “Uma is the sister of Alpha Six’s ruler.” Queen Renata sounded ill, and angry. “They murdered my mother for this insanity.”
    “Babe, they’re just upset they didn’t murder you, too. Your dissidents do think they’re talking to God, though. I’ve seen the fanaticism up close and personal, and it’s real. I’ve also talked to ACE in my head, and if I didn’t know what ACE was, I wouldn’t have a hard time believing I was talking to God.”
    “Especially if ACE said he was God,” Gower added dryly.
    “So this has been planned for a year?” Alexander asked. “Because the first announcement lights went off a year ago.”
    “Alex, you don’t plan to take over all the sentient inhabitants of two solar systems on a whim. This is a complex plan. His Royal Megalomaniacness has been planning it for years, maybe before you were born. I mean, why don’t you want to rule?”
    He shrugged. “My great-uncle spent much time telling me how onerous it was, how thankless.” I saw the light dawn. “He talked me out of it, didn’t he?”
    “Yes. Welcome to the team, big guy. We’ll do the blood oath and pinkie swear rituals later, but trust me when I say you come from really nasty stock. They must hate you—you’re a lot more like Jeff and Christopher than your own brother.”
    He nodded. “I’ve heard that I wasn’t like the rest of the family most of my life.”
    “You know, we need to protect Alexander, Martini, White, and Gower, but Reader is still going to be target number one,” Chuckie said calmly.
    “Why?” Reader asked, but so did a lot of the others. It was like we had our own echo even though we weren’t in a canyon.
    “Because Paul and Kitty both love you, and ACE is in Paul and worships Kitty.” Martini’s voice was clipped. “And anyone spying on us would know that. That’s why you were the target in the first place, James. To cause emotional trauma, to remove the person they both rely on. To ensure that ACE had to deal with that kind of loss and horror alone—because the two people who could best talk ACE through it would be out of their minds with grief.” He looked at me. “I hate my family.”
    “Not the family here, Jeff.”
    “True.”
    “Sins of the father,” Brian said softly.
    “Will be delivered like unto the fourth generation.” I didn’t go to temple much or mass ever, but I knew the Bible. “Yeah. Jeff and Christopher are the fourth. It ends here. Tonight. One way or the other.”

CHAPTER 49

    “I HAVE ONE QUESTION.” Christopher sounded thoughtful. “Shoot.”
    “What is the point of the Poofs?”
    “Good question. No idea. Alexander?”
    He looked embarrassed. “They wanted to come.”
    “Beg pardon?”
    Alexander sighed. “Harlie has been around for a long time, before Gregory was born, maybe longer. It was always listless. I assumed it was because it was so old. When the announcement light triggered, it was the first time in my life I saw Harlie excited. There was one other Poof alive, and it was