Alien in the Family

“So, back to why everyone’s here?”
    “Not quite. Paul, the jackals from the Dog Planet and the walking felines? They are?”
    “From Beta Fourteen and Fifteen, respectively, Canus Majorians and Feliniads.”
    “Major Doggies and Cat People. Got it.”
    Gower sighed. “The others are, I’d guess, from Alphas Five and Six.”
    “Do the Alpha Fives and Sixes have one heart or two?”
    “One.”
    “Then one of our party of humanoids isn’t being honest. Poofies? I think we have a mean lady I will not like even more than I do not like Bitch Leader in Harlie’s mouth.” All the Poofs jumped down and turned big. “What do my Poofies like to eat best?” I asked Black Eye.
    “Um . . . uh . . . meat.” He sounded worried. Good.
    “Wow, how convenient!”
    Chuckie laughed and patted the Poof near him. It purred at him. “These are great, I have to admit it.”
    “Wonderful.” Martini was muttering, but not that quietly.
    “Jeff, hush.”
    “Fine, fine. They like Reynolds because you like him, right?”
    “I hope so. Because I don’t like anyone in this room at the moment, other than Chuckie.” The Poofs, to a fluffy thing, started to growl, very softly. The one by Chuckie moved in front of him. “See? Poofs are wonderful.”
    Black Eye swallowed. “Uh, please don’t let them eat us.”
    “Give me a reason not to. Start with having the shapeshifting Amazonian bitch unmask.”
    Shocked looks all around. Other than from one person, one of the humanoid women. She stood up straight, shimmered, and a taller, older version of Moira was standing there, complete with the spiky blonde hair and the Xena/Wonder Woman body suit and boots look. “I am not your enemy,” she said quietly.
    “Right. Chuckie, get behind me. I’m serious, by the way.”
    He did as requested. “This is an emasculating feeling.”
    “She’ll emasculate you more than I ever would.”
    “No,” the shapeshifter said, “I will not.”
    “Met your sister, or mate, or whatever she is. Don’t believe you.”
    She shook her head. “They are not here on my order.”
    My order. “What’s your name?”
    “It cannot be pronounced—”
    “Oh, give it a rest! We know! We know! We’ve had A-Cs on Earth for decades. All humans working with them are really clear that we are just too damned slow to catch your fabulous languages. Let me mention that what humans are really good at is turning inferiority complexes into mass crusades of destruction. Now, before I tell my adorable Poofies to have a delish breakfast, stop, all of you, with the ‘we talk too fast for your pitiful ears’ crap and give me names that I can understand that you will also actually answer to. Or die. And I mean that literally.”
    Poof growling went up a notch or two. I wondered if they required grooming or had nonmatting fur, and if they would be happy sleeping on their own pillows or in a nice big pet bed together.
    “Baby? I don’t want them in our room, okay?”
    “I do.”
    “Think about it, for a minute, while the prisoners stop wetting themselves.”
    I did. “Okay, when we’re sleeping, how about that?”
    “Maybe. Folks, she’s not joking. She’s protective, tired, and upset. One of her best friends almost died today because of a shapeshifting lunatic, and I’m not in there to restrain her. She doesn’t follow orders. So do what she says. ’Cause I don’t care what happens to any of you.”
    The shapeshifter nodded. “I apologize for my subject’s actions. I am Queen Renata of the Free Women. And we are here as emissaries for the Planetary Council, not as emissaries of Alpha Four.”

CHAPTER 29

    CHUCKIE LEANED DOWN AND WHISPERED in my ear. “We have an elaborate ruse. But you knew that. Find out who has the most to gain.”
    “Interesting. Paul?”
    “Yes, Kitty.”
    “I’d love to chat with ACE, please.”
    Gower sighed. “Fine.” There was a pause. “Yes, Kitty, ACE is here.”
    “ACE, are these the evil beings you said were heading for us?”
    “No, Kitty.”
    “Are they evil? As in, get them off our planet before they try to kill us all evil?”
    “No, Kitty. They are very afraid.”
    “Would they stop being afraid if Chuckie, the Poofies, and I left the room?”
    “No, Kitty. They are afraid of what has happened and what might happen.”
    I thought about it. “ACE, this is one of those you want to tell me but can’t times, isn’t it?”
    “Yes. Kitty will figure it out without ACE’s help.” ACE sounded