Alien in the House

enough, the Parrot From Hell was along for the ride. My luck was always consistent.
    “Hush, Miss Bellie. We’ll visit Jeff later. And I’ll be happy to give our nation’s newest representative any help I can.”
    “Wow. You, as always, amaze.”
    “I do what I can.”
    “I think you know everyone here other than Va—”
    “Vance Beaumont,” he said, cutting me off mid-word as he leaped over to offer his hand to Oliver. “I’m your biggest fan. Beautiful parrot, by the way.”
    “Bellie likes Vance!”
    “She is the biggest slut in the world, isn’t she?” I asked whoever was in charge of my luck.
    Oliver seemed stunned. “I have a fan?”
    “Lots, but I’m the biggest,” Vance said as he did indeed continue to act like the biggest fanboy in existence. “Your exposé on Titan Security should be required reading for all law enforcement and politicians. May I give your bird a treat?”
    “Bellie likes Vance! Bellie wants treats!”
    Oliver looked at me. “Is he for real?”
    “Yes!” Vance said. “I can’t believe I get to work with Mister Joel Oliver!”
    Claudia and Lorraine sidled closer to me. “Is he serious?” Lorraine asked quietly.
    “He seems serious.” Seriously deranged.
    “You find the most interesting people,” Claudia said carefully.
    “Don’t I though? Yeah, um, Vance, let’s let go of the nice reporter and remember that we are in the middle of something big right now.”
    “I can’t wait to tell you what’s going on,” Vance said to Oliver, clearly ignoring me. “You may have already put it together yourself, but haven’t had enough to go public.”
    “I think we’re talking about different things,” Oliver said, shooting me the “help me, help me” look.
    “Vance!”
    He dragged his head around to sort of look at me. “Yes, Kitty?”
    “Vance, I’m speaking as both the ambassador of the property we’re standing on and as someone who’s more than willing to kick you in any number of places. Let
go
of the nice reporter, back away, and focus. We are not on a field trip, he is not Steven Tyler or Joe Perry, and you are not twelve. Pull it together, dude, you’re embarrassing me in front of my cool friends.”
    Somehow, this got through. Vance let go of Oliver and looked embarrassed. “I just really think he’s great,” he mumbled.
    “I’m flattered,” Oliver said as he stepped closer to me and the girls. “Truly. However, as I was saying to the ambassador, I don’t believe the assassins on either your roof or Ireland’s are who shot Mister Montgomery.”
    “They weren’t. Remember Operation Assassination?”
    “As if it were yesterday.”
    “Well, the assassin who got arrested is out and gunning for his wife’s killer.”
    “Oh dear.” Oliver looked around. “I don’t see Mister Buchanan with you.”
    “Yeah, we’re missing Malcolm, Christopher, Amy, Caroline, and someone I’ll tell you about when we’re not standing in the middle of the street, so to speak. Now, back to it—were you on Ireland’s roof?”
    “Yes, investigating. I’d suggest that you didn’t need to verify for yourself, particularly since none of you are exactly dressed for scaling a building, but I know you and imagine you’ll want to see for yourselves.”
    “MJO, is this you telling us we
should
investigate, or is this you being resigned that we’re going to waste time when you could just tell us what you found?”
    “Ah, you’ve just come from spending time with the lovely Madam Olga?”
    “Shockingly, no, I spared myself time in Remedial Class. But you and she do share some traits.”
    “Well then, no, I’m not trying to be vague and secretive while making you really work for the information so you’ll remember it better the next time I’m not around to help out. I went up onto Ireland’s roof; I can tell someone was perched there for a while. He never fired a shot. And then he left. I was heading to look at the roof of this building when you came outside.”
    “Super duper. I happen to know who was on top of that building, and therefore who was on top of the Zoo. However, I’d like to verify that we don’t have dead bodies on the roof.”
    Oliver nodded. “It’s easiest to access the roof if we go inside.”
    “It’s also easy to see us and ask why we aren’t powwowing with all the politicians.”
    “We could use the fire escape,” Vance suggested, pointing to the metal ladder system that was on the side of the building where the