Alien Proliferation

snorted. “How hard is this to guess? They have no bassinet, they have no cradle, they have no crib. Oh, girlfriend? I have you registered now. As soon as someone can get out of lockdown, some of this’ll be handled.”
    “You’re a god, James.”
    “True. Anyway, while Kitty might consider a Poof bed, Jeff wouldn’t. They’re not putting her on the floor, on the couch, or in the tub. Where the hell do you people think that baby’s sleeping?”
    Everyone gave him a blank look. Gee, nice to know they thought we were total morons.
    Reader sighed. “She’s sleeping in bed with them. And, no, I’m not sleeping in there with them. It’s just really obvious. Why the hell do you think every other word out of Kitty’s mouth is ‘bassinet’?” That was Reader—gorgeous and brilliant.
    Tito, Emily, Melanie, and my father all started in on the lecture about how it wasn’t good for the parents to have the baby in bed with them. Reader looked at me and rolled his eyes. Jeff was muttering under his breath.
    “Jesus, fine, fine.” Chuckie sounded disgusted. “Far be it for me to actually consider the safety and well-being of people marked for death. Go ahead, shop away. Take the whole family with you, particularly the elderly and little children, since they can’t run away from danger as fast. Make it a fun-filled holiday extravaganza. Possibly you won’t be killed, maimed, hurt, kidnapped, traumatized, or terrorized. You know, it could happen.”
    Dad shook his head. “No, Charles, you’re right. We shouldn’t go out.” He cocked his head and turned to Reader. “James, the registry—did you do it online?”
    “Of course. I’m in the lockdown too.”
    “All from one store?”
    “Mostly.”
    Dad looked at me. “You and Jeff want to check the registry first?”
    We both snorted. “Uh, Dad? We’ve been arguing about what stroller to choose for three months.”
    “And that’s the only thing they’d looked at.” Reader sounded brisk, back to Drill Sergeant mode, just as he’d been for our wedding. “No, the registry goes as is. If I’ve somehow missed something, which I doubt, we can get it later.”
    “Fine, fine. So, Jeff, most of us didn’t get to bring laptops along, and the few that were brought were confiscated, along with everyone’s smart phones and handhelds.”
    “Why?” No one had ever confiscated anything of mine, other than to test it for bugs and bombs.
    Chuckie heaved a sigh. “We’re under the highest threat levels. This is a standard protocol, so no one can, say, send a text to their friends to let them know where they are, alert them to impending danger, give away our position, and so on.”
    “You know, like we did with you when you joined up, girlfriend,” Reader added. Memory dragged itself up from its latest nap and reminded me that the only reason they hadn’t taken my phone when I’d first run into Alpha Team was because Jeff couldn’t find it in my purse.
    Dad nodded. “Your mother gave the order, kitten. However, that means no one has any means of doing anything externally. So, are there any computers we can use?”
    Jeff shrugged. “Library’s got the most. Why?”
    Dad handed Jamie to me. Leaned her up against my shoulder, she snuggled into my neck. Thankfully, this was just cuddly. Nice to know that Jamie and the Poofs could do what they wanted on my neck and it wasn’t any kind of issue.
    My father was on his phone. “Important things finally in motion. Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. Don’t faint. Yeah. Yes, head everyone to the library. I’m sure someone knows where it is. Yes, James has them registered. Who else? Yes, he’s a godsend, I agree. Not sure, I’ll bring him with me. I imagine it’ll take you a while to get everyone rounded up and down there. Yes, we’ll call them after James gives us all the information. Right, I’ll call him next. No, I think he’ll think it’s funny, sort of fitting for them at this time of year anyway. See you shortly. Love you, too.”
    “Dad, what did you just tell Mom to do?”
    Dad chuckled. “If the baby cannot go to the shower, the shower will come to the baby. The Internet’s a wonderful thing. You kids should start using it.”
    “Thanks for the tip. Dad, we can’t have a bunch of UPS trucks showing up here. It’s a huge security risk, for us as well as the drivers.”
    “Oh, I know that. I wasn’t going to have the merchandise delivered directly. It’ll be picked up and delivered by