Alien Tango

when our people came to Earth, only about half were humanoid. The others would, for human understanding, be more avian and reptilian, versus mammalian. Of the humanoids, most were more mammalian than human.”
    “Hairy gorillas instead of naked ones?”
    Martini laughed, which was a relief to hear. “More like walking cats and dogs. The apes were on our planet. And some others, but not all by any means.”
    “They aren’t cats or dogs, like you’d think of them,” Christopher added. “And they had no interests in mingling with us.”
    “No interspecies mating,” Gower clarified. “Frankly, we mate normally with humans, but not with the other races in our solar system.”
    “That’s weird.” I thought about it. “I wonder how much the Ancients had to do with that.”
    “Potentially? Possibly a lot. Likely? When your father finishes his latest revision of the Ancients’ text, we might know,” Gower sighed. “Until then, just speculation.”
    Operation Fugly had identified a lack in the A-Cs’ translations of the texts the original alien visitors, the Ancients, had brought with them. My father had done an initial revision five months ago, but he wasn’t happy with it and so was redoing from scratch. The A-Cs saw this as impressive dedication and attention to detail. I saw it as him having a ton of fun.
    “So, where are you going with this, Kitty?” Christopher sounded tired.
    “I’m wondering if these are entities from your solar system.”
    Martini considered this. “They could be. But we didn’t have any invisible beings.”
    I had no guesses but was saved from saying so by my phone ringing. I dug it out. “Hello?”
    “Leave or you and your boyfriend will both die.”
    “Oh, you again. Look, he’s not my boyfriend.”
    “Liar!” The caller hung up, but I got the feeling it was a woman, though the voice was still muffled. Interestingly, this call had originated from a different number. I’d see if Kevin could trace it, but after we dealt with the problem at hand.
    “My stalker,” I said to the look Martini was giving me.
    “I’m not your boyfriend?” He sounded pissed, hurt, and suspicious, all in one. I had a feeling his blocks were down, or shorting out, because I was fairly certain I wasn’t sending any lustful feelings toward anyone other than Martini, Brian in particular.
    “No, you are. But I think my stalker is under the impression that Brian and I are an item.” I filled them in on my theory about what I was now considering the least of our three main worries.
    “I think you’re reaching,” Martini said.
    “I don’t,” Christopher countered. “I could really see it, especially if he’s been mooning about her for weeks.”
    “Try years,” Chee interjected. “I mean, no one can discuss relationships without Brian reminiscing about the girl who got away.” He smiled at me. “You’re better looking in person.”
    “Geez, what picture of me does he have up?”
    “Pictures, plural.” Chee shook his head. “Everything he’s done, according to him, has been to impress you enough that you’d realize you wanted him back.”
    I could feel Martini start to go into a slow boil. It was silly—there wasn’t a human man alive who could hope to match Martini in bed, let alone everything else. I took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “Doesn’t that strike anyone else as just way beyond obsessive?”
    Chee shrugged. “Sure, but he’s a good guy. And he does keep trying to find someone he thinks is as great as you.”
    “I’m not that great.”
    “Yes, you are,” Martini said. He wasn’t saying it as an atta-girl—he was saying it like he was ready to go into the ring and fight Brian for me.
    “Jeff, relax. I mean it.” I looked back to Chee. “So, any guesses for who’s threatening to kill me and my boyfriend if I don’t leave? Taking the assumption that this lunatic thinks I’m here for Brian.”
    Chee considered. “I don’t think anyone he’s gone out with would want him back.”
    “Well, the flattery just keeps on coming.”
    Chee laughed. “I mean that they broke up for a reason. Most of his breakups have been amicable. And I don’t think anyone he was with was pining for him back.”
    “Including me.” Poor Brian.
    “Someone wants him,” Martini snapped. “At least if we take Kitty’s theory to be even close to right.”
    “Jeff, trust me. This one I know in my gut, okay?” I did. There was something about the sheer lunacy of it—it