Alien vs. Alien

them. But it was so appropriate, nonetheless.
    “Long story,” Jeff said.
    “I’d like some of it.”
    “I would as well, Jeffrey. I’m particularly interested in what you and Charles are both hiding from us. Currently, we have no proof the two of you are actually yourselves, if you catch my drift, Missus Martini.”
    Jeff’s hold on me tightened. “We’re not androids.”
    “Proof would be awesome.”
    Jeff shifted me a little and kissed me. Like always, it was great and I had to control myself from grinding against him. However, that could potentially be duplicated. And if it could, I wanted the patent, because a machine that could kiss like Jeff would be the path to instant wealth.
    Once our kiss was over, I let my worry continue. Jeff, however, just put me down. I sidled over to White. “We may want to be ready to run like hell,” I said quietly.
    Jeff heaved a sigh. “Baby, it’s really me. I can’t feel you right now. I can’t feel anyone.”
    “Which is part of why we look this bad,” Chuckie said dryly. “Because someone went for the ‘throw a temper tantrum and see if that works’ method.”
    “I was distraught,” Jeff said as he shot a sideways look of annoyance at Chuckie. “You weren’t exactly Mister Calm, either, for a while there.”
    The Poofs all jumped down in front of me and White. They were mewling and jumping up and down. “Kitty’s got nothing, Poofies, sorry.”
    White jerked. “The tunnels are affecting your talents. Meaning they’re affecting Jeffrey as well.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “You can’t understand the Poofs right now. We already knew the tunnels were affecting our people. I should have considered that before we left.”
    “Okay, makes sense. So, Jeff, Chuckie, prove you’re who we want you to be and show us what you’re hiding from us. Now. Or Richard and I do a runner.” Neither Jeff nor Chuckie looked up to catching me and White. If they could, it might also prove they were androids. I currently hated where my mind was going.
    “Camera’s down,” Chuckie said with a shrug.
    “Yeah, thanks for that. We were trying to find you guys or whoever was down here. That equipment’s not cheap.”
    Chuckie shot me his “really?” look. “I’m aware of what they cost, Kitty. I’m also aware that we’ve got enemies everywhere.” His eyes narrowed. “In fact, how do we know the two of you aren’t androids? Martini can’t feel anyone in here.”
    “Look, we’re in this weird Mexican Standoff. Someone needs to prove who’s who to the others.”
    The Poofs started jumping up and down again, mewling loudly. They bounded between the four of us, purring and rubbing. Then they stood in front of me, and all three of them stared at me with, what I was positive, were “duh” expressions on their faces.
    The light dawned, albeit really slowly. “The Poofs say we’re all who we think we are, the real people.” The Poofs jumped up and down again, then Harlie went back to Jeff, Fluffy went back to Chuckie, and Poofikins jumped onto my shoulder, grumbling quietly. “Fine, fine, Kitty’s being an idiot again.
Excuse me
. It’s been a long weekend.”
    “Since we’ve confirmed we’re all who we say we are, when are you boys going to share what it is you’re hiding from us?” White asked.
    “We should probably wait until we’re back somewhere secure,” Jeff said.
    “How far away are we from wherever you’re basing, Kitty?” Chuckie asked.
    “Far.”
    “Miles,” White corrected. “And we’re going back to the Embassy. Speed is of the essence. There are things you two don’t know about that require our attention.”
    “I can’t handle any more hyperspeed right now,” Chuckie said. “I had enough of that today—I honestly don’t think my body can take it.”
    “That’s the main reason we’ve been moving so slowly,” Jeff said.
    I looked at his expression. “No, it’s not. I mean, I’m not doubting Chuckie, but you two are doing more than staggering homeward.”
    “True enough,” Chuckie said. “We had to move slowly, so we were examining the tunnels as we went. We can do more of that later. However, I can’t move fast. If I have to deal with more hyperspeed reactions today, I’m going to be bedridden.”
    “We can’t afford to have either one of you out. But we have to get back.”
    Jeff sighed. “Fine, fine.” He fiddled with whatever he was holding. I stepped closer and took a good look. It was a shiny cube,