Alien vs. Alien

to find Jeff waiting for us. He took Jamie from me and cuddled her. “I’m sorry you’re jealous of Bellie.”
    “Wives tend to be jealous of mistresses.”
    He sighed. “I don’t love her more than you, or Jamie.”
    “But you do love her as much.” And she was not only some bird who was stealing my husband’s affections, but she’d been the bird of a man who’d tried to kill me in many different and nasty ways not very long ago.
    I tried to continue my stalk to the front door, but Jeff grabbed me and pulled me to him. “That’s not true. But I do feel about her like you do about the Poofs and the other pets. I know she belonged to one of our enemies. But she’s an innocent animal.”
    “Animal maybe.” I wasn’t buying innocent. That bird had been around the block more than once.
    “We can debate it later. But I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, baby. You and Jamie were just having your love time with the cats and the Poofs, and I wanted . . . I wanted you two to meet Bellie, so she could be a part of that, too.”
    “Which might have worked better if Bellie wasn’t clearly a one-man bird, emphasis on ‘man.’ ”
    “I’m sure she’ll adapt to you and Jamie being home.”
    “I’m not.” I still wanted to be angry, and really, I was, but it felt nice having Jeff’s arm around me, while he held both of us. “But I’ll try to give the bird a chance.”
    “Great!”
    “I’m making no promises, Jeff. I’m not much of a girl for birds.”
    “Maybe Bellie can change your mind about that.”
    If that was her goal, Bellie was a total failure in creating a bird lover out of me. But I chose not to say that. Instead I contemplated my options. “Can Chuckie and the girls wait for us for a few more minutes?”
    Jeff got a faraway look. “Yeah. They’re waiting but not impatient.”
    < moh="2em"> “Okay. I’m sure Jamie would like more undivided Daddy time before we go pay more attention to things other than her.” She was clinging to Jeff, so this wasn’t so much my being a great, intuitive mother as me stating the obvious. In part to show willing and in more part to give Jeff and Jamie some private time, I pulled away. “I’ll go see if Bellie and I get along better without you in the room.”
    Jeff looked pleased. “Her cage is in the living room.”
    Wonderful. I went to have a look-see. Cage was the wrong word. Her bird habitat was in my living room. In fact, there was far more bird habitat than living room now. Bellie had a better setup than if she’d been housed in the Washington Zoo. Better than any zoo I’d seen.
    I walked over to the nearest part of her enclosure. She flew up to me and latched onto a nearby swing. She stared at me, I stared at her.
    “He’s mine, you know,” I said finally.
    “Jeff loves Bellie.”
    “Too true. But he loves Kitty and Jamie more. And you’d better get that through your bird brain, before I brain you.”
    She seemed unperturbed. Shocker. “Bellie loves Jeff.”
    “Yes, I know.” I decided to try another tack, since intimidation was clearly not working. “What else does Bellie love?”
    The bird seemed to contemplate this question. “Bellie loves treats.”
    “No argument. Does Bellie love anything else?”
    “Bellie wants treats.”
    “You just got some. What does Bellie want besides treats?”
    “Bellie misses Daddy.”
    I assumed this was Antony Marling. “Daddy is not coming back.”
    “Bellie knows the secret.”
    “What secret?”
    “Daddy’s secret.”
    Interesting. “Will Bellie tell Kitty what Daddy’s secret is?”
    The bird gave me a look that clearly said “talk to the tailfeathers.” This bird had derisive down to an art form. “No. Bellie loves Jeff.”
    “Will Bellie tell Jeff Daddy’s secret?”
    “No.”
    “But if Bellie really loves Jeff, Bellie should tell Jeff what Bellie knows.”
    The bird actually seemed to be considering this. I was wondering how it was that I was doing an avian interrogation. But that’s what was going on. African Grays were the smartest birds out there, and they had the best language skills. And Marling had adored this bird as much as my husband did now. Clearly, she was the Marilyn Monroe of the parrot world.
    So it was conceivable that Marling had kept the bird with him when he was working, while attending meetings of the Association of Crazed Evil Geniuses, and perhaps more. I didn’t doubt that Bellie knew soBel Std">“Bmething. But whether it was information we