Alien vs. Alien

“Jeff, ask her about Daddy’s secrets. Keep on talking to her in that lovey-dovey way you seem to have acquired while I was out of town.”
    He gave me a dirty look but did as requested. “Can Bellie tell Jeff about Daddy’s secrets?”
    The bird did a jerking thing with her head. I couldn’t te co Jell if she was trying to nod yes, no, or just had a twitch. “Secrets for keeping. Bellie misses Daddy. Jeff misses Kitty. Jeff has Bellie. Bellie has Jeff.”
    Interesting. Presumably Jeff had shared his loneliness with the bird and vice versa. I made a mental note to ensure this bird was never around when we were having sex. I didn’t need her imitating my yowling.
    “Yes, Bellie has Jeff,” he confirmed, as if there were any doubt. “Bellie, tell Jeff Daddy’s secrets.”
    Bellie did the head shake thing again. “Bellie knows Daddy’s secrets.”
    “Jeff needs to know Daddy’s secrets.” The bird didn’t answer. He looked at me. “Any ideas?”
    Jamie gurgled, and I kissed her head. Which led to inspiration. Always nice when that happened. “Bellie, Jeff is your Daddy now. So he should know Daddy’s secrets.”
    Jeff nodded and looked back at the bird. “Jeff is Bellie’s Daddy now. Tell Jeff Daddy’s secrets, Bellie.”
    The bird seemed to be considering her options. “Jeff is Daddy?” she asked. She sounded uncertain, not that I was any real judge of bird tonal inflections.
    “Yes,” he said firmly. “Jeff is Bellie’s Daddy now.”
    She did that head thing again. “Daddy’s secrets are ready to go. Captains in Paris and Paraguay. Bellie wants a treat.”
    Jeff reached into his pocket and gave her a treat. I managed not to be either horrified or shocked. Of course he was now carrying around bird treats in his suit. Naturally. I wondered how many meetings outside of the Embassy he’d gone to with the bird along. Had a horrible feeling I’d find out at the most embarrassing times possible.
    “Now tell Jeff Daddy’s secrets, Bellie.” Jeff stroked her head. “Be a good Bellie.”
    “Good man. Good man. Captain is good man.” I doubted that, because it was unlikely anyone Marling had in place was good. “Can do. Can do. Captain can do.” This one I could buy—whoever was in place was likely able to do whatever evil actions he was assigned.
    Bellie preened. “Bellie wants a treat!”
    Jeff sighed and gave her another. “I don’t think she’s got any more, baby.”
    “Or else she’s not ready or willing to tell us.”
    “It’s a bird,” Buchanan pointed out. “How much do you really think it can tell us in the first place?”
    The bird looked right at him. “Time to tell the dog to kill the cat.”

    Yi

CHAPTER 17

    I COULDN’T SPEAK FOR ANYONE ELSE, but my mind was going at top speed. “You know, I think my ‘uncle’ sent this to me for more reasons than him having a soft co JULDN’spot for abandoned animals.”
    Chuckie nodded. “That sounds like the order Marling would have given to have you assassinated.”
    “Only it was Madeline Cartwright who’d set up the assassins. She told me so.” And I didn’t doubt it, either, not based on all I’d seen and gone through.
    “Doesn’t change things,” Chuckie said. “The bird must have heard the order given.”
    “Wouldn’t you think she’d need to hear it more than once?” Buchanan asked. “To be able to repeat it, I mean.”
    “Maybe.” What I knew about parrot learning skills could fit into one of Bellie’s treat pellets and have room to spare. “I guess we’ll find out.”
    “True.” Buchanan looked at Chuckie. “Let’s deal with something more pertinent. How did they know to set up the attack at NASA Base?”
    “I’ve been asking myself that since it happened,” Chuckie said. “I honestly have no idea.”
    “We’re so screwed.” This remark earned me a glare from Jeff, a sorta-smile from Chuckie, and a laugh from Buchanan. “I also had a Very Special Test asking me some really interesting questions.” I filled everyone in on the weirdness that was in my special packet.
    Buchanan shook his head when I was done. “My test was perfectly normal. I’d assume everyone else’s was, too. Why didn’t you say something?”
    “At first I figured I was just being singled out because of everything that always happens around me. By the time I read ahead, I was too busy going ‘what the hell’ and being attacked by an android to do much else.”
    “Why give her that kind of test?” Jeff