Alien vs. Alien

Jamie and I got on the bed and were soon buried under cats and Poofs. It was a lovely thing to come back to.
    In the midst of our little love fest, Jeff wandered out. I heard a strange voice. “I love Jeff!”

    Yi

CHAPTER 14

    I SAT UP. “WHO’S THERE?”
    Jeff walked in, a large parrot on his shoulder. The parrot was gray. It was also kissing him. Literally.
    “Meet Bellie,” Jeff said. “Jeff loves Bellie, and Bellie loves Jeff, doesn’t she?” he cooed at the bird, who did the parrot version of a coo right back before she leaned her beak back for another kiss.
    I watched my husband snuggle this bird for a good few seconds before I could manage to come up with a question that wasn’t going to start a fight. “Um, is that . . . ours?”
    “Yeah.” Jeff beamed as he brought the bird over to the bed. “You’d just left and we got a shipment. It was addressed to you, but since it had no return address, we figured we’d better open it at Home Base, just in case.”
    “So you went to Area 51, and this popped out of the box?”
    “Yeah.” He fished something out of his pocket. “This came with her.”
    He handed me a note.

    Miss Katt,
    Have taken your advice. All traces removed. However, the bird is innocent and will likely be destroyed. Sending her to you, therefore, since you appear to be an animal lover. With my best regards for your continued good health,
    Your Uncle

    I stared at it, then stared at Jeff and the bird again. “So, my ‘uncle,’ the notorious assassin, Peter the Dingo Dog, removed all traces of his being hired by Titan Security, that I understand. But, in an act of animal kindness, the scariest hit man in the business sent Antony Marling’s African Gray Parrot to us? And you’re okay with that?”
    Jeff was clearly okay with it. To the point where I was worried he was going to kiss the bird with tongue.
    He nodded. “Your mother and Reynolds didn’t object. They examined the note and got everything they could from it. Bellie’s been checked, and she’s healthy, and there are no hidden things on her anywhere.”
    “Oh, good. So, why did you keep her?”
    Jeff looked aghast. “She was going to be sent to Animal Control if we didn’t keep her!”
    “There are plenty of exotic bird rescue groups out there.”
    “I couldn’t send Bellie to one of those. She’s a very sensitive creature. And she’s very affectionate.” He had the same expression that I was used to seeing toward Jamie—possessive and protective.
    He and the bird had another little nuzzle-fest while I controlled my nausea and my annoyance. It was time to be diplomatic again.
    “I can see that.” Fine. We had a bird. And not just any bird. We had our last Major Megalomaniac’s Beloved Birdie. And my husband had attached to her just as her former ownerr f>
    I shoved a smile onto my face. “Okay, no worries.” I put my hand out. “Can I pet Bellie’s pretty feathers?”
    The bird looked at me, and I recognized the expression. It said clearly that Jeff was
hers
, and I wasn’t included in their Special Love.
    Because I had fast reflexes, I was able to pull my hand back right before her beak closed on my fingers. Instead, she bit air, and she bit it viciously. I didn’t need to consult an ornithologist—this bird didn’t like me.
    “Wow, guess I’m not allowed to pet the bird.”
    Jeff looked shocked. “You must have frightened her. She’s not like that with anyone normally.”
    I let the many sarcastic comments I wanted to say pass as I thought about it. “Who does she like?”
    The bird looked at me again. “Bellie loves Jeff,” she shared.
    “Yeah, Bellie, I got that one. Jeff, who else does Bellie love or at least like?”
    “Well,” he said, while petting the bird, “she likes Christopher, Pierre, Tito, even Reynolds, Irving, Kevin, pretty much everyone.”
    “Uh-huh. Does she like Doreen?” Doreen and Irving Weisman were part of our Diplomatic Mission. Doreen’s parents had been the head Diplomats for American Centaurion before I’d had the Poofs eat them. Fortunately, Doreen was both nothing like her parents and not holding any kind of grudge for their deaths.
    “Doreen hasn’t really tried to do much with her. She has a new baby, after all.”
    True enough. She’d given birth right at the end of Operation Assassination, a couple days after Lorraine and Claudia had. “What about Nurse Carter?” She was our Staff Nurse because after going through all we had with her during