Angels of Darkness

weakness and trying to find any reason to punish myself a little more. I never thought it before that moment, or after, and I sure as hell don’t think it now.”
    She knew. With his emotions wide open, she could feel his sincerity. But after what he’d done, what he’d said, it didn’t matter that he wasn’t that stupid boy now. Did it?
    Silent, he waited. Just before he built his psychic shields again, she sensed the pain slipping through the sincerity, the resignation through the remorse, the despair through the horror.
    God. What the hell was he carrying around with him? There wasn’t anything good in there. No hope, no joy—and he wasn’t all right. How could he live like this?
    But she knew the answer: because he was as solid as the earth, unflappable. Because he’d keep going, even if he ran out of reasons to.
    She couldn’t read his face or emotions now, but his voice was low and rough.
    â€œIs this what you came for, then? An apology, reparation? To have my head? I’ll give it to you.”
    No, that wasn’t why she’d come, though she appreciated the apology. She’d been around long enough to know that it was a rare man who fully accepted responsibility for his actions, who didn’t offer any excuses. Marc had apparently become the good man she’d always thought he might be . . . and she should leave now. He wasn’t all right, but he wouldn’t do anything stupid. Not Marc. He wouldn’t give up.
    But she couldn’t leave him. Not like this.
    â€œI’m still on vacation,” she said. “But I’ll take the apology.”
    He nodded, his gaze holding hers. “I am sorry. And if I’d known that I’d hurt you, I’d have apologized long ago.”
    â€œIt wouldn’t have meant anything if you still believed I was unclean.” God, even now the word stuck in her throat, made a painful hitch in her chest.
    He heard it. His eyes darkened, and his voice thickened, as if he spoke past a constriction in his own throat. “I didn’t. And I should have apologized for thinking it even for a moment, even not knowing that you’d heard. I’ve been sorry and ashamed since I realized what a fool I was, believing half the things that I did. But that doesn’t even touch how sorry I am, knowing that I hurt you with it.”
    So he hadn’t been an asshole all of this time. “How long ago did you realize you were a fool?”
    â€œAbout a hundred and forty years ago. About the time that I knocked on your door and you didn’t answer—and I thought to myself that you were the best woman I’d ever known, and anyone or anything that tried to convince me differently had to be idiocy. And I realized that I hadn’t failed a test of faith when I took you to my bed, but one of arrogance and blindness when I’d asked to be forgiven for it.”
    â€œSo I’m still just a test, then.” Not a woman, but a lesson to be learned.
    â€œNot now,” he said. “I stopped believing shit about you and seventy-five percent of the Guardians in Caelum right away. But it took me a little while longer than that to pull my head out of my ass and realize that not everything is about me proving my worthiness as a Guardian, or a trial to pass or fail.”
    â€œHow many years did that take?”
    â€œAbout a hundred and thirty.” He gave her a crooked grin. “I can be slow.”
    Not slow. Just immutable. Solid. Good qualities, sometimes. Not always at other times. But it looked as though he’d figured that out. She might have saved herself the hurt if she’d waited, and become friends with this man instead of the boy he’d been.
    And though she’d been pushing aside and ignoring the hurt his carelessness had caused for so many years, only now could she finally feel it cracking, as if the pain might crumble to dust. It hadn’t yet. She could still feel the pain there, right around her heart, but she was suddenly very glad she’d come.
    She gave him a smile, and a nudge against his shoulder. “Shall we go find this demon quarterback, then?”

CHAPTER 3
    S o she was still here. Still hiding from something, obviously, since his apology hadn’t been her reason for coming—but he wasn’t going to question her about the why. He’d just do what he’d planned to do before, and watch over her until she left.
    And in