Baby Be Mine

he’s got an accomplice.’
    ‘Have you met her?’ I ask of Dana.
    ‘I’ve met her in the past, yeah.’
    During another visit he failed to mention. I try not to let it bother me.
    ‘What’s she like?’
    ‘Full of herself. I think she fancies the pair of them as being the next Kurt and Courtney. It’s a fucking joke. I’m sick of it!’
    ‘Hey . . .’ I say gently.
    ‘Yeah, I know, he’s my oldest friend and all that, but when’s it going to end? I’ve had it up to my eyeballs.’
    ‘Who are you talking to?’ I hear Johnny ask in the background and my heart jumps into my throat.
    ‘I’ve gotta go,’ Christian says brusquely to me. ‘I’ll call you later.’ He hangs up.
    Later I text Christian, asking him to call me back when he has a chance. It’s seven o’clock the following morning before he finally does.
    ‘I’m off to bed,’ he tells me. ‘It’s been a long day.’
    ‘What time is it there?’ I ask groggily. Barney is having a rare lie-in.
    ‘Eleven.’
    I prop myself up on my pillows. ‘How’s Johnny?’ It feels strange to say his name out loud – especially to Christian.
    ‘He’s feeling a bit better. He’s going to go back into rehab tomorrow.’
    ‘That’s good.’
    ‘Yeah. I’m not sure if his heart is really in it, but it’s better than nothing.’
    ‘Is she going to go, too?’
    ‘Who knows? Probably. I think it’s only her manager who kept her away from him today.’
    ‘How’s Bill?’ Bill is Johnny’s manager.
    ‘He’s fine. Water off a duck’s back. You know Bill.’
    Yes, I do. In fact, he probably looks upon this as good publicity. Not that Johnny needs any more publicity.
    ‘Who found him?’ I ask.
    ‘Rosa.’
    Aah, so it was Rosa. ‘How is she?’
    ‘Quiet.’
    ‘That’s worrying,’ I comment. Rosa used to be anything but. ‘What actually happened? How did he do it?’
    ‘He reckons he took a dodgy “e”, but he’d mixed a few things. It could have been anything.’
    ‘Did she take the same drugs?’
    ‘Seems so.’ Christian sighs. ‘Listen, Meg, I’d better get some sleep. Johnny wants me to wake him up early if we’re going to do this rehab thing.’
    ‘Are you staying at his house?’ I ask in surprise. I’d assumed he’d gone back to his hotel.
    ‘Yep. In the gold room, as usual.’
    It’s the room he always used to stay in. I remember Johnny once telling him he could have any room he wanted: ‘Except for Meg’s. Keep your hands off my staff.’
    It seems like another lifetime away.
    Then I’m transported again, into my room. My room was white, all white. The windows looked out onto green, leafy trees, and inside there was a super-king-sized bed with a pure white bedspread, floor-to-ceiling white lacquer wardrobes and an enormous en suite with dazzling white stone lining every surface . . . It was beautiful.
    ‘I want you to come back to LA with me as my girlfriend, Meg. Come and live with me.’
    I shake my head quickly, trying to rid myself of the memory, but I can’t. Suddenly I’m looking into his piercing green eyes and he’s asking me to leave Christian and choose him instead.
    It was everything I’d ever wanted – once. To be the girl that changed Johnny Jefferson’s wild-boy ways. But he’d left it too late. And now it seems that there’s no end to his downward spiral.

 
  Chapter 6  
    Christian returns the following week. I’ve kept tabs on the internet so that I can avoid constantly asking my boyfriend for news about my former lover, but all has been quiet. Dana went to her parents’ place in Montana to recuperate, and Johnny has been holed up in rehab. Christian cracked on with his work and we settled back into our unconventional routine.
    In the middle of June, Bess calls to ask if Christian, Barney and I fancy meeting her in Barcelona for her birthday at the end of the month. I broach the subject with Christian over coffee outside on the terrace. ‘We still haven’t been and it’s only a couple of hours away.’
    The corners of Christian’s mouth turn down. ‘Contour Lines will have started the European leg of their tour by then. I’ve been meaning to tell you.’
    ‘Oh.’
    ‘Sorry,’ he says. ‘But you and Barney could go?’
    Within days, Bess has booked her flight to Barcelona, and Christian has surprised me with a weekend’s stay for Bess, Barney and me at one of the city’s top hotels.
    He’s due to fly out to Austria on Monday, but a phone call on Friday night