Baby Be Mine

on a tiny car going round and around with Barney on his lap. Liz did comment, wide-eyed, that my friend – because that’s all I said we were – looked like Johnny Jefferson. I just laughed it off and said she wasn’t the first person to say that. It wasn’t a lie – it just wasn’t the whole truth. I know she’ll understand my need for privacy when it does come out.
    ‘You should go,’ he says again, more resolutely.
    ‘Maybe you could come,’ I suggest. ‘It might be something you’d enjoy.’
    ‘I’m on holiday with Sara,’ he replies.
    ‘Aah, nice. Where are you going?’ I try to sound casual and interested, as a friend would be. I haven’t met her since Christian’s book launch. I get the feeling she doesn’t like me much. And why should she? I wouldn’t like me either if I knew what she knew.
    ‘Tuscany,’ he replies. He pauses. ‘Did Johnny tell you I saw him in LA last week?’
    ‘No?’ God knows why not.
    ‘I was over there tying up some loose ends for the Contour Lines biography – my editor wanted an epilogue before it went to print,’ he explains. ‘I gave him a call and we caught up.’
    ‘Wow.’ After everything they’ve been through, is there really hope for their friendship?
    ‘He apologised.’ He laughs.
    ‘No way!’
    ‘Yes. He really did.’
    I’m aghast.
    ‘He seemed well,’ he continues. ‘Better than I’ve seen him in a long time.’
    ‘He’s still sober, then?’
    ‘Surely you know that,’ he chides. Of course I should do, if I believe it.
    ‘I guess so,’ I reply non-committally.
    ‘He certainly is as far as I can tell,’ he says kindly.
    ‘Have you forgiven him?’ I ask.
    ‘I don’t know. I don’t think so. But it’s harder to hate. It’s harder on me,’ he qualifies.
    ‘I know what you mean. Look at poor Robbie.’
    ‘Robbie?’
    ‘Robbie Williams. There was so much animosity between him and the rest of Take That, it really screwed him up. Now they’re all friends again and I’ve never seen him so happy.’
    He says nothing for a long moment, then he cracks up laughing. ‘I cannot believe you’re comparing Johnny and me to Robbie and Take That.’
    ‘Sorry.’
    ‘Don’t be. You’ve made me laugh. That’s always a good thing.’
    ‘Oh, bugger off,’ I joke.
    ‘I’ve got to go, anyway. Sara’s on her way over.’
    ‘Say hi to her from me.’ I try to sound flippant.
    ‘You know I won’t,’ he says and I know he’s grinning as he hangs up.

 
  Chapter 48  
    I’m excited. I’ve got our bags packed for a three-night stay and Johnny is coming to pick us up at any moment. He called me from the airfield to say he was on his way. I’m nervous for some reason. I haven’t seen him since Barney’s birthday in May, weeks ago, but we’ve spoken on Skype every few nights since. I’ve felt closer to him this last couple of months. At peace with him, in a weird kind of way. I’m able to admit to myself that I can’t wait to see him again.
    The doorbell goes and I literally run down the corridor and swing it open, half out of breath.
    ‘Alright?’ Johnny says.
    ‘Hello!’ I exclaim, resisting a wild urge to throw my arms around him and hug him half to death. He gives me a funny look. ‘Come in!’ I say, moving out of the way. I’m unable to wipe the enormous smile from my face as he steps warily across the threshold.
    ‘You’re in a good mood,’ he comments.
    ‘And? Is that a crime?’
    He shrugs. ‘Not at all. Are you all set?’ He glances down at the bags in the hall.
    ‘We certainly are.’ I turn and call down the corridor, ‘Barney! Daddy’s here!’ Johnny heads off in search of his son. ‘He’s in the living room,’ I say. ‘Do you want a drink?’
    ‘Nah, let’s get on the road.’
    ‘Okay.’ I beam at him again. I think that my enthusiasm is entertaining him. Or maybe it’s just freaking him out.
    ‘Hey, little buddy!’ he says warmly when Barney appears around the corner.
    ‘Daddy!’ Barney shouts. Johnny still hasn’t got used to him saying it, even though he says it all the time. Literally, all the time. I can barely get a word in when Barney is in the room during our Skype sessions.
    Johnny lifts him up for a cuddle, but Barney twists around and holds his hand out to me, so I step in.
    ‘Family hug,’ I joke, as Johnny wraps one arm around me and looks down at me with amusement. I rest my cheek on his chest and close my eyes for a second before gazing up at a giggly